The Life & Times of Earl & Ramona Reimer

2010-06-02T16:56:00.002-05:00

I failed to mention that the comments are public again....

2010-06-01T17:17:00.002-05:00

Good evening from Toronto,

I've been reading back through some of our posts in the last few minutes. It's now six months ago that Ramona passed away, and honestly, it looks like I've hardly written anything at all since then. I feel like it would be a good time for me to just ponder life with the people that are still connected on the blog.
I'm now done with the first three months of the Heart School at TACF. It's been an amazing experience and one of the safest places in the world to process everything that's happened in the last few years.
I need to write a sermon tonight on the topic "Heart of Stone" which is taken out of Ezekiel 36:26, where it talks about God taking our hearts of stone and giving us a heart of flesh.
Essentially I'm talking about removing the walls around our hearts that stop us from giving and receiving the love God designed for us to experience. Basically, we have defense mechanisms or we deaden our emotions in reaction to pain.
This is quite a topic for a guy who never let his wife see him cry all through a 3.5 year battle with cancer. I'm the kind of person who would love to have some sort of magic pill to take and make everything better, but I'm finally starting to see that God loves the journey. God doesn't seem to smite when I get angry at Him. He gives me time to fall apart. I don't have to be healed in one day, or one month or one year.
I found Ramona's relationship with God such an inspiration. Few of you will probably ever fully appreciate the growth and emotional healing that happened in the last few months of her life. Again, I'm not sure God's reasoning for everything, but I saw her forgive people and gain freedom from expectations even in the last little bit of her life.

It's an honor for me to continue in the growth that Ramona and I were in together. It was maybe in the last month of her life that Ramona started calling God, "Daddy" instead of Father. It's truly a privilege for me to be here pursuing a relationship with my Heavenly Daddy.

Regarding comments on the blog. Jill and Linda and the rest of you. You need to know that you are really loved. I had asked Jill to help out with the blog. Thanks so much Jill!
I was reminded today of one of Ramona's many trips to emergency. Ramona would text Jill on the way to the hospital to ask Jill to pray for her. In the middle of all Ramona's crazy medical stuff, she would pray for Jill's husband. Ramona's care for other people still blows me away.

I read a lot of passionate stuff on the blog today. This passion really brings me back to being married to Ramona. Ramona defended what she believed with huge determination. There would be times when we would disagree on spiritual stuff, and she would process it because sometime later I would hear her passionately telling other people stuff I had told her.

Ramona's passion for Jesus was amazing.

I'll confess that I haven't been in a place to grab all of the big "Ramona's Reach" type dreams by the horns in the last few months. The time will come for me, but huge blessings to you guys who are doing the walk and making baskets and things like that.

Please send a text to me, if there is something big you'd like to know or let me know.

Love and blessings,
Earl

2010-06-01T13:03:00.002-05:00

This seems like quite an eventful day on the blog. It's also been quite a few months since I've posted. It's been an honor this afternoon to speak to a few of you posting on the blog. I'm still in Toronto...and my outreach group is meeting in a few minutes...so I don't feel like I can do justice to what I want to post. I'll write something later tonight

I've temporarily blocked people from commenting.......

and my roommate just stepped into my room to say that we starting... sorry that this is incomplete.

Much love to everyone,

Earl

Ramona's Runners

2010-05-13T15:30:00.014-05:00

Hello Everyone!

Some of Ramona's friends are doing a 20K CancerCare Manitoba Walk on June 12th! Their goal is to raise $5000!
Copy and paste the link below to donate!

http://cancercarefdn.mb.ca/netcommunity/ramonasrunners

Blessings as you give, remember and honor Ramona and the battle she courageously fought!

-Jill

Ramona's Reach

2010-04-11T22:33:00.002-05:00

Hi, this is Carol (Ramona's mom). It has now been over 4 months since Ramona passed away. How we miss her, and wish we could talk to her.
I want to thank you, the huge community of supporters, who have prayed for Earl and Ramona and encouraged them by commenting on the blog, bringing them food or by being there for them in many other ways. May God bless you.
Those of you who were at Ramona's funeral heard Wendy Peter talk about "Ramona's Reach". We are now in the process of planning and organizing something that will keep Ramona's vision and dream alive. We are not exactly sure what "Ramona's Reach" will look like or what will all come of it, but we we are working toward our long term goal of building and running an orphanage in her honor. Please help us pray into this. We want God to accomplish what he had in mind through Ramona's life, and through her death.
-Carol

2010-02-23T22:21:00.002-06:00

Just wanting to let you guys know a bit of what I'm up to next.

I've have an awesome opportunity to attend the school of ministry at the Toronto Airport Christian Fellowship. I was really searching for direction while Trev and I were out there. It's coming up pretty quickly, you can check it out at http://som.catchthefire.com/heart.

It felt wrong to be cleaning out our home in East St. Paul without Ramona there to organize everything (and do more than her share of work). I took the last load out of that house today.

I also totalled the car Ramona and I used for the last 3 years. I brought that car in today too.

My belongings will be spread through out Morweena as I spend the next 5 months at school in Toronto.

I again thank you guys for praying for me. Now, three months after Ramona passed away, I still have numerous people telling me they're praying for me. Within the last few weeks it feels like my head has begun to clear up a little bit...I guess that's a good thing.

-Earl

2010-02-04T00:52:00.002-06:00

December 15th when I last posted seems like an incredibly long time ago.

I've really procrastinated blogging. This was always something I would do and then get Ramona to check it over. It feels pretty weird doing this on my own.

Thank you so much for the people that continue to pray for me and pray into the Ramona's Reach vision.

It's super obvious to me that people are looking to plug into this vision. I don't really have a ton of detail to add to what's going on. I know money has been sent to Haiti in Ramona's name. Also, it sounds like some of us will be getting together within the next month or two to dream more.

Personally, I had a chance to go the One Thing Conference in KC with Jason, Kev, and Wayne at the end of December. It was pretty awesome to be hanging out with these guys and worshiping together with 15,000+ other people.

I also got back from two trips with Trev (Pastor). On the first trip we went to TACF. There were a lot of awesome miracles there, but it was also quite a trip down memory lane. That's were Ramona and I met Heidi Baker last October....

-Earl

2009-12-15T17:13:00.002-06:00

I feel like I'm in the all too familiar state of being entirely overwhelmed. Check out a piece of this email....

Our lives are brightened by the memory of Ramona, her beautiful smile and her huge heart for Jesus and the poor.
May her compassion and joy, triumphant even in the face of terminal illness, be multiplied to many precious souls among the desperately needy children of Africa.
Here in Pemba we are naming a baby house after her and know that Jesus will honor Ramona with His rich presence among all the children who will feel the love of God in this very special and anointed house.

Much love in Jesus,

Heidi and Rolland
and all of Iris Ministries

Wow! When Trev first read this to me, the first reaction in my mind is that I couldn't wait to tell Ramona that Heidi had named a baby house after her.........

I know Ramona would be incredibly excited.

I want to throw out an encouragement to our blogging community. This is an awesome time to pray into some of the dreams/visions/ideas that Ramona had. God obviously has something amazing in store...

I'm not exactly sure how frequently I'll be posting but this story is definitely not over yet....

- Earl

2009-12-10T12:44:00.001-06:00

The day after the funeral was our anniversary. Among other things that day, Jake and I went to the forks to see what Ramona and I had carved on the bridge. We actually carved something like this on our first date...but I think someone painted over it and Ramona and I couldn't find our original scratches...so this one was carved sometime within the last year and a half......

Mony I miss you so much...

I just got through my giant stack of cards from the funeral. Thanks for all the love that's been sent my way in the last while...

-Earl

2009-12-08T20:37:00.004-06:00

Hello... this is Jill again. I am posting the full obituary which was printed in the bulletin at the services. Hopefully it works! :)
As well, Earl has asked me to post the tribute that I gave at the Wednesday evening service in Winnipeg. May the Lord bless you where you are at!

My tribute:
When thinking about where to start in giving honour to a woman who managed to become one of my best friends, I can’t help but feel at a loss for words. How do I possibly put into words what this last year has meant to me.
It was about a year ago at this time, when I first heard about Ramona and her journey. I was instantly burdened to pray for her... this woman who I hadn’t even met. Little had I known that it was the beginning of a God planned friendship.
I always joked when meeting Ramona’s family and friends that I was her stalker... I prayed for her before she even knew me! Finally I thought enough with this, I need to connect with this girl. So off the Facebook message went and as I sat and read back to that first message the other day, I kinda laughed how it was sent as though I already knew her, except for the “hi my name is Jill” introduction!
It was shortly after that when I first connected with Ramona and Earl here at Calvary Temple at the beyond service.

Ramona immediately left an impact on me. In the months that followed, as our friendship began to take shape, I was unaware of the way her life, passion and faith would have such an impact on me - how I would be challenged to that same level of faith that she stood on.

As Ramona and I grew our friendship and shared our life stories with eachother, God was at work. And when God is at the center, you know it’s going to be great!
I remember so many times being so humbled when she would faithfully pray for me and my needs and desires of my heart, especially when the battle she was facing seemed so much more important.
I would tell her that it didn’t matter what time of day or night that if there was a need to tell me and I would pray... and eventually she took me up on it! I loved praying for her and praying with her! Wow, did we have some good times praying for eachother. Even just a few weeks ago, the week before she was admitted to the hospital, we were to pray for eachother at beyond and she was so tired but wanted to pray for me, and again I was just so blessed and humbled and thankful for what are now precious memories.

My friendship with Ramona was in many ways that of a spiritual one. Our connection began with God and the burden that He had placed on my heart to pray for her. Often during our times together we would talk about the things that God was doing in our lives or showing us.
However we did share some great times laughing! Nothing beats a girls night searching on Facebook for the perfect husband... for me of course! She had hers! Such good fun times!
So many good times... visiting Africa during Folklorama, Canada Day fun, numerous encouraging text messages, plans for me to come visit the “bush”, chats over coffee, well I mean passion tea with light ice... and endless hours praying...

These last 2 weeks at the hospital, I watched as Ramona never gave up. I watched as she fought and as she continually kept her eyes fixed on Jesus. I witnessed even then lives being changed and challenged. I experienced peace, and joy and love. I saw a wife, a sister, a daughter and a friend. I saw compassion. Last Wednesday, I was blessed to have been given about an hour to spend praying over her. I will never forget that, as she just asked me to keep speaking out loud and as I watched her agree and pray with me, as she smiled at our own little inside thoughts, and as she simply just soaked up everything and continued to trust her Lord.

Ramona was a woman who was loving, compassionate, caring, faithful, genuine and real. She was who she said she was. She was a friend in every way. She was the real deal. In facing the battle that was so real in front of her, she was still a young woman who wanted to live life fully, a friend who wanted to hang out and talk... and cared so much about the needs of others.

Why did God allow me to have such a role in her last chapter of life? Why did Ramona feel as though she could let me in? I don’t know.... I’m humbled to be standing here. I’m humbled that God allowed me to be a friend to her during this last year. I’m thankful for every moment invested, every conversation, every encouraging word.

Ramona, you have changed my life. You have impacted me in a way no one else has. I already miss you like crazy, but I know you are free - I know you are home. Dancing, singing, resting, and enjoying the fields of blue gerbera daisies that Jesus has prepared for you! Thank you for being an amazing friend, a best friend and for bringing so much joy to my life. I love you so much...

Tribute from Ang:
I first met my cousin Ramona when we were only babies. As little girls, Ramona & I spent a lot of time at each others places playing dolls, having sleepovers, and being together at Grandpa & Grandma’s for family gatherings. We would pretend and imagine what we would do or be when we grew up. As we grew up we began to dream and pray about our passions and dreams. In December, 2004 Ramona and I headed out to the mountains of Haiti for 3 months to be used by God in an orphanage.
In Mark 9: 37 (The Message) it says “Then cradling the little one in his arms, he said, “Whoever embraces one of these children as I do embraces me, and far more than me- God who sent me.”
Ramona, I feel that verse speaks of you. Your heart of love and compassion shone through as you interacted and cared for the children at God’s Littlest Angels orphanage. You didn’t just love the most lovable kids but especially the ones that were neglected.
You spent time with Josianne, a little girl who had cerebral palsy and was partially blind just showing her love and interacting with her. You were her therapist! Without loving volunteers like you, she may have been left in her crib for a lot of the day.
Remember, the transformation you saw in little Claudy from looks of rejection to actually giggles and smiles by playing with him and showing God’s love.
Your heart also fell in love with a 4 year old girl with HIV and you exemplified Christ’s compassion whether teaching her, taking her to the bathroom or playing with her.
Then, there was this precious baby, Midlove who you “adopted” as your little girl while out in Haiti. She craved love and attention and you gave her just that. You would make sure Midlove was clean and dressed everyday. You loved her like your own child. You were happy to be with her to celebrate her 1st birthday. You gave this child the security she needed. You met her adoptive Mom on your honeymoon and were confident she was going to a good home. Her adoptive mom named her Lilou and you continued to keep in touch!
One of your biggest passions at the orphanage was the education of the older children (ages 2-15). You were determined to teach these children so they would learn and get a fair chance at education. Even when you went through huge frustrations over the Haitian system or language barriers you persevered. All the kids absolutely loved you and would call your name when you entered the gate.
You had a desire to help the poorest of poor. On Saturdays you loved going on feedings with another orphanage in the neighbourhood. It was a day of traveling for hours on bumpy roads on the back of a crowded truck in the heat and dust to even poorer areas of Haiti to hand out bags of rice to people who practically had nothing. I know it broke your heart to see hundreds of people line up, some who could hardly walk due to illness or little children who were poorly dressed or dirty, all fighting for their small bag of rice.
You always had a sense of adventure whether it was loving kids, serving the poor or just experiencing the culture. You loved our trips to the nearest town by their poorly run taxi system, the crazy busy and smelly market and trying out your French Creole. Thanks for protecting me from all those stupid live chickens at the market; you knew they were my greatest fear. Other memories include: visiting a nanny’s house on Easter Sunday and being amazed at how little she had and yet so hospitable, hours of walking in the mountains, and experiencing all those Haitian foods, corn mush, rice, & labouyi. Your favourite was a cold Tampico fruit drink from a house store in the neighbourhood.
Haitian church was an experience of its own. You may think a bench would sit about 8 people but they would manage to fit 12. It seemed there was always room for one more!! In spite of crowded conditions they worshiped God with such sincerity and passion!
Ramona, in our time there we became closer than just cousins, we became the best of friends and we would often share our hearts with each other. I admired your deep passion for God. You would get up super early every morning and sit on the roof or balcony and read your Bible and spend time with God. Thanks for being an amazing spiritual friend and mentor there and in the years that followed. Thanks for the heart to heart chat just over a month ago encouraging me to be more passionate and to go deeper with my Saviour!!
Haiti, a very poor third world country was not the safest or most comfortable place to be. There was political unrest and we would hear gunshots in the evenings, needing to be inside the gate by 8 PM. We noticed spiritual darkness, hearing Voodoo worship just down in the valley as we would fall asleep at night. The shortage of water meant cold and fewer showers and shortage of electricity meant evenings spent by candlelight. Rats shared the same home and the children of the orphanage would laugh at us for being scared of them. You never complained in these circumstances but rather you wanted to experience just a little of what the people of the country had to go through. Ramona you served God with all your heart and you did it well. With humility, peace and compassion you let God use you. This was just a taste of what you wanted to do for a lifetime. This created in you a greater desire and passion to serve the lonely, poor, and orphans. I am convinced the love you gave is continuing to influence children even to this day and it will continue into the future. More will be touched because of you and your willingness to serve your God.
Ramona, I will treasure all our very lengthy chats & phone calls. (it seemed we never ran out of things to talk about!) So many times you demonstrated such unselfish friendship! Even as you were facing cancer you were still genuinely excited about the birth of our daughter, Alyviah, and after she was born, in spite of you not feeling well, you brought us a home cooked meal. You also thought of me and my upcoming birthday when you were in the hospital over Thanksgiving and bought me a gift at the hospital gift shop. I’m so happy for the prayer times and moments we could share in the past few weeks!
Thanks for your amazing friendship and all these wonderful memories and more! I love you and miss you so much, but I am so happy that you are now experiencing a perfectly healthy body in heaven, the beautiful place God prepared for you. I can imagine you dancing and singing in heaven with Jesus and all the precious little children!
Can’t wait to have another good Ramona chat!! See you soon!! Ang

Tribute from Becki:
To my dear sister,
I can’t believe you’re gone. Our time together was so short. But in that small amount of time you have taught me many things that will stay with me forever. I have always looked up to you and wanted to be just like you. The example that you set for me is incredible. Your strong relationship with God and passion to live for him has inspired me more than you’ll ever know. God shone through you. Everyone who saw you could see it. You would glow because you were full of, and overflowing with, the Holy Spirit. You changed lives because of this, I know mine will never be the same.
Thank you so much for all the amazing talks we’ve had, especially over the last year. You were my number one person to go to for advice. You always seemed to have the right things to say. You were an encourager. Spending time with you would build me up and challenge me to strive to become more like Jesus. When I had questions about faith and Christianity you would tell me stories of your personal experiences and explain things to me as best as you could. You always wanted the absolute best for me. Ramona, you have seriously opened my eyes to the meaning of life. I miss you like crazy already but I’m so happy for you that you are spending time with your best friend Jesus. You are in Heaven- totally and completely cancer free! I love you so much Ramona, my hero.
Forever and always,
Becki

2009-11-28T20:30:00.005-06:00

Funeral service will be Wednesday December 2nd at 11:00am in Morweena at the Morweena EMC church which will include service & burial followed by lunch.

http://maps.google.ca/maps?f=d&source=s_d&saddr=winnipeg&daddr=50.978318,-97.296982+to:morweena&geocode=FRxY-QIdn8k1-ikRKxr5-3PqUjFkyrnG-hoqKw%3B%3BFWYbCgMdUpEx-il9_80qjI7rUjFCAQX4m8YBJg&hl=en&mra=dme&mrcr=0&mrsp=1&sz=11&via=1&sll=50.944584,-97.253036&sspn=0.258716,0.727158&ie=UTF8&z=11

That same evening at 7:00pm in Winnipeg at Calvary Temple, 400 Hargrave there will be a service celebrating Ramona and her dreams and passions.

2009-11-28T01:32:00.002-06:00

Peacefully, at 10:00 Friday evening Ramona passed away safely into the arms of Jesus. She is free.... and at peace, experiencing the fullness of our Lord in her perfectly restored body.

On behalf of the family, thank you to everyone for your prayers and support.

More details to follow...

Jill

2009-11-25T23:43:00.002-06:00

Well... here we are! This is for those of you who wonder who this mysterious "Jill" is! This is Ramona and I taken a few months back... actually back in May! So now, for those whom I have still not met, this is me! :) We were kinda joking around the idea of putting this up... so here ya go!

Anyway, continue to keep in prayer the issue of shortness of breath... seems to be an ongoing struggle, which then brings anxiety, and some not so fun stuff like that! I had an awesome time praying over Ramona this evening, just speaking rest and peace over her! So pray for the nights which are often so long! Thank you Lord that you bring JOY in the morning! Other things to keep in mind for prayer are issues like dry mouth which seems to come in the way of sleep, tumor on the left leg, and all other related pain. Thank you Lord that you know every detail that we don't even know! Ramona's heart is continually asking for more of Jesus... let's agree for that with her!

She (and Earl/family) continue to be incredibly grateful for all the prayers! It's awesome how people are praying all over the world, which equals to 24/7! WOW! It's also incredibly awesome to just feel the presence in Ramona's room! I was praying tonight and just feeling the shield of protection that surrounds that place... God is good! Let your presence fall even more in that place... continuing on the journey.... Lord, let your kingdom come!

2009-11-22T21:09:00.002-06:00

Thanks so much for the encouraging comments and even reminding us of stuff we've said before. We have an incredible team of prayer warriors around us. There are hundreds of you reading this and praying for Ramona/us/the family. It's amazing to know that when we're to tired to even think...you are praying.

Somebody had an excellent idea of posting specific prayer requests...
- we can see that the tumor on the left leg has grown significantly in the last few weeks
- it's easy for Ramona to be sort of anxious after essentially laying still for 11 days straight
- shortness of breath
- Ramona is very exhausted much of the time

Our list of things/people to be thankful for is also huge...including that Jill updates our blog when I don't feel like writing anymore... :)

Blessings,
Earl

(We actually have internet access in Ramona's room now!)

2009-11-21T00:11:00.002-06:00

Hi everyone! Jill here again! :)

Just wanted to say thanks to everyone for continuing to pray and contend on Ramona's behalf! Praise God that the night after the last post everyone had a great night and was well rested the next day, including Ramona!

The last few days Ramona has been amazing!! Still very tired at times but it has been awesome to be able to chat with her and hear what's on her heart and mind!

I spoke with her the other day about posting about these running shoes and she told me that would be awesome! In Toronto I believe, someone felt that the Lord had spoken to them to tell Earl to buy Ramona running shoes... so the other day these are what were given to Ramona!!! It was a day where she was feeling pretty tired but remembered exactly why she was getting them!

So here's something you can also pray into... we look forward to the day when she puts on these running shoes and not only walks, but runs out of that hospital! :) Today, they were moved to a place where she could see them, and she even said how awesome it is to actually look at them!

Continue to pray for continued strength for Ramona! Praise God, she is feeling better!!!! As she continues to say, she just needs more of Jesus! I love that His strength is made perfect in our weakness! I shared a card with Ramona today, where I was reminded as I was writing in it, how his strength is being made perfect in her!!! I can't wait until God finds the perfect pair of lungs for Ramona!! What an exciting day that will be! I know that my God is faithful!! Continue to pray for everyone, for rest and just continued peace! I love to hear that Ramona feels peaceful. It's something for us to feel it, but knowing she does is awesome! God is good! Thank you on behalf of Earl & Ramona for the 1000's of prayers that are going out! And thanks to everyone who has brought and is bringing meals for the family... it has been such a blessing to them I know! I know both Earl and Ramona and their families are so grateful to everyone! Continue to contend and believe! He is able!!! I just speak complete restoration over Ramona... better than original!! :)

2009-11-17T23:03:00.002-06:00

Hello everyone, this is Jill again, the official updater of the blog for now! :)

Yes, Ramona was at beyond on Sunday! She loved being there and was still talking about it yesterday (Monday)! We had a place for her to lay down and just soak up the Lord and she sure did!

I love to listen as she speaks out her thoughts to the Lord, even when she is so tired! How beautiful to hear her pray for an acceleration of her healing and then ask for more of Jesus! The presence of God is so real in her room. Nurses have come and even said that it is very peaceful... we know God is at work! The Holy Spirit is there... Ramona even said so as she knew and acknowledged when He walked in the room!! :) Beautiful....

The joy of the Lord is so evident as Earl's sister said, I don't think the nurses are used to so much laughter on a palliative care unit! But we have joy!! We do not fear because we know that God is present and real and loves Ramona so very much! He is her healer...

God is showing us that He is indeed faithful to us and to Ramona! Continue to pray that God would release heaven to her, that His kingdom would come and His will would be done NOW as it is in heaven! In His presence there is fullness and healing... we believe and continue to contend for the miraculous to be released!

Pray for rest, for everyone! What little rest is actually had, pray it is refreshing! Thank you to everyone who is rallying around and praying! It means so much to Earl, Ramona and their families! Words cannot express their gratitude!

As Ramona said today, "this cancer has to go" - let it be done Lord in Jesus Name!

2009-11-14T22:48:00.002-06:00

Hi everyone, this is Jill writing on behalf of Earl and Ramona!

They wanted me to post an update so here we go!

Ramona, continues to be a warrior! She is a fighter no doubt about that!

It is evident that we are in a very real battle, a battle that is not just against flesh and blood... but thankfully we serve a GREAT BIG GOD who is bigger than our circumstance, way bigger than cancer!! AMEN!

Ramona is battling alot and in her tired state at times has trouble communicating, yet she appreciates so much the prayers that are going forth on her behalf... it is beautiful to see her light up when she is surrounded by Worship, family and friends! God is good and He is faithful!

Continue to pray and believe along with Earl, Ramona and their families. We are continuing to call on God to release heaven on earth, to allow His kingdom to come and His will to be done as it is done in heaven. Continue to contend with us, praying and believing steadily for Ramona's miracle. He is so near and His presence is felt... He is the same today as He was yesterday... He loves to heal. We believe He is Ramona's healer.

As someone said a while back God asks us not only to believe in Him but to believe Him!

WE BELIEVE!

2009-11-13T02:20:00.002-06:00

Thanks for rallying around us. It's definitely crunch time now.
Ramona was admitted into palliative care today. Ramona was having trouble breathing, and when I brought her for radiation it was apparent she was having a lot of trouble. They immediately put her on 10 litres of oxygen...and she still feels like she is not getting enough air. She is too tired to effectively communicate.

I don't know how many hundreds of times I've thanked everyone for praying......

2009-11-11T06:20:00.002-06:00

Thanks everyone for all your prayers. I need them now more than ever. I'm having severe difficulty breathing. I am constantly on 2 litres of oxygen. Even on the oxygen I feel like I'm short of breath. Every day things seem to get worse. I'm also coughing a lot. I can't really eat, and when I do I seem to throw up. I'm terrified. I feel like I'm about to die. I need my miracle right now. Please join me in praying.....

Thanks for your praying you guys. Ramona woke up half an hour ago and managed to keep from throwing up. The above message is what I wrote for her.
-Earl

2009-11-07T12:04:00.002-06:00

So...I guess our blog is missing a few important life details.

We're back from Toronto. It was one of the most incredible trips we've taken.

Unfortunately, Ramona was starting to feel pretty sick out there already and by Tuesday night we were in emergency at St. B. Ramona is still admitted in the hospital.

A CT scan done Wednesday showed that the tumors have again grown significantly. Emergency radiation is underway to manage some of the symptoms such as pain and hopefully shortness of breath. Ramona has also been coughing quite a bit. These last few days have involved a lot of antibiotics as well. Doctors have hypothesized almost every possible cause of the fevers/shortness of breath/tachycardia/coughing. When we first arrived in emergency we were given the impression that things were very serious.

It looks like maybe the tumors themselves are causing most of the issues.

Thanks for praying! The miracle is needed ASAP!

Heidi Baker

2009-10-29T23:06:00.000-05:00

My dream come true!! Being prayed for and loved on by Heidi Baker, my hero! Heidi's orphanages in Africa, mainly Mozambique, have approximately 10,000 children. The way God uses her in the miraculous is amazing!!

2009-10-25T13:48:00.002-05:00

So....we're heading to Toronto today

Ramona had a list of things she wanted for her birthday. On the top of that list was healing....

A true hero of Ramona's, Heidi Baker is in Toronto this week. So...for her birthday, we're going to a conference she's at. This should be fun.

Ramona is still experiencing pain in her chest. We feel like we have a huge crowd of persistent people praying with us. It truly is encouraging.

Our friend Billie-jo passed away Thursday. Please pray for her husband and her two children.

-Earl

2009-10-21T23:21:00.002-05:00

Ramona and I are definitely in fun zone right now. We're attending an equipping school called Advancing the Kingdom. Tomorrow, the equipping school ends and turns directly into a conference called Kingdom Come. www.kingdomcomeconference.com

It's awesome. Experiencing God is definitely a personal thing. I've had a hip problem that's been nagging at me for a long time. Last night, they prayed for me and Jesus loosened up that hip.

If you're not sure what I'm talking about...check out Calvary Temple any of the next few evenings. John Arnott of Toronto Airport Christian Fellowship is in town.

2009-10-17T22:14:00.002-05:00

We found out today that our friend Billy-Joe is in palliative care in the St. Boniface Hospital. The doctors are giving her very little time. We visited her, and I said I would post something here for her.

She is fighting a similar disease to what Ramona is battling.

It was an incredibly divine set of circumstances leading us to her today....I'll save that story for some other day. For now...let's go after this for her and Ramona.

Good night,
Earl

2009-10-16T13:47:00.002-05:00

Wednesday afternoon when we drove away from HSC it kind of felt like waking up from a really bad dream. With her pain roughly under control, Ramona was discharged with the plan of seeing Dr. Wong Thursday to discuss the CT results. Radiation never happened, the tumor appeared too large on the X-ray

We got the CT results yesterday. A few of the tumors have shrunk but there is a tumor on the right side of her chest that has grown to 12cm in length. This 12 cm tumor also looked like it was bleeding into itself. This may be part of the explanation of coughing up blood and a hemoglobin of 63 (Ramona has since been transfused 4 units of red blood cells).

Dr. Wong is currently looking at bringing in an experimental chemo, in case Ramona wants to try it. It may take a few weeks to make that happen. Chemo is canceled for next week.

Today is the first day in the last week that hasn't involved some time in a hospital.

Anyway....We love to be in an atmosphere of hope. It's an exhausting mistake to have any belief that the grim reality presented in a hospital is somehow more true than the reality of the Kingdom of God.

-Earl

Update

2009-10-12T20:38:00.002-05:00

Hi everyone, this is Jill blogging on behalf of Earl & Ramona - I sure hope I know what I am doing here!

Anyway, Earl & Ramona just wanted to update everyone and are unable to get to a computer right now so Earl asked that I would come and update and encourage all you prayer warriors to stay rallied in believing for what is an obvious need for a miracle!

On Sunday, Ramona was brought to Winnipeg (they were home in Morweena) and is currently in hospital here. She was having super intense pain that desperately needed to be controlled. Pain which I can now say is under control with meds.

The preliminary x-ray results don't look very good and the tumors are definitely growing and showed that her ribs could be fractured from the tumors pressing on them.

None of this is definite, however she will be having a CT scan tomorrow which hopefully will show more conclusive results as to what exactly is taking place.

Continue to pray and believe for the miracle that we are all waiting for! It is indefinite as to how long she will be in hospital, but please continue to contend on her behalf! We serve a God who is the same yesterday, today and tomorrow! The same God that raised Christ from the dead lives inside of us and that same God has the power to heal!! Let's continue to believe together for Ramona's complete healing!! Lord, let Your will be done on earth as it already is done in heaven.....

2009-10-10T13:19:00.003-05:00

Right near the top of the list of things we're thankful for are all the people going after Ramona's healing with us.

Yesterday afternoon at about 4:30 Ramona started coughing up some blood. This is obviously not a good thing. We spent a little time in emergency yesterday and have talked with a doctor this morning about some increased pain Ramona is having too.

It would seem that a tumor is causing pain along the chest wall. The bleeding...just happens. We're not sure exactly what brought that on.

Unless something gets drastically worse, we'll just try to manage the pain until Tuesday.

Those of you who are praying for us. Let me throw a little thought your way.

It is always a good time to focus on the goodness of God. On Sunday, I had the privilege of praying for a friend of mine who had hearing impairment ever since he was in an accident. We prayed for him and God instantly restored his hearing. That was fun.
We prayed over his ear for maybe twenty seconds and his hearing was restored.

We prayed over Ramona for a lot more than twenty seconds in this last twenty four hours. We didn't see any dramatic improvements.

It's important for me as well as the rest of you prayer warriors to bring to mind testimonies of stuff God is doing. sarcomas are illegal in the Kingdom. As Christians we have authority over sarcomas.

Happy Thankgiving,
Earl

2009-09-30T23:27:00.002-05:00

Anyway...we were just kind of having fun with this. Ramona often gets compliments as to how absolutely gorgeous she is, but on Monday, a few nurses and Dr. Wong himself were all talking about how Ramona looked better/healthier than she had in a few weeks.
Monday afternoon we got a phone call from a nurse saying how she looked good for having a hemoglobin of 83.
So...Ramona had a transfusion yesterday.

......Day 2 of chemo is over today. It's definitely tiring for her. She spent most of this evening sleeping.

I don't feel like going into details right now...but going after the supernatural and destroying the works of satan puts us in the middle of spiritual wars...gladly pray for us in the whole realm of discernment of spirits....and everything related to the battle that is not against flesh and blood...

-Earl

2009-09-29T20:25:00.002-05:00

Just so you know...one of you is one number away from the right answer...gotta keep guessing! (And those of you who know information that would give the answer away-you better keep it to yourselves! :) Tomorrow the truth will be revealed!

-Ramona

2009-09-28T17:14:00.000-05:00

Okay, so Ramona is chatting with her mom on the phone and I'm going to play a little game with you guys. The game is called: Are you smarter than a doctor? Using only this picture, you need to figure out what Ramona's hemoglobin is. A hint, this latest chemo is predicted to knock out the hemoglobin and have less of an effect on the white blood count than the previous chemo. For reference: 120=hemoglobin in the normal range, 100=hemoglobin is good enough to leave hospital or do chemo without a transfusion, <90= transfusion time. Two weeks ago her hemoglobin was 99.
With all this extra information....let's see how well you do. Um...I don't think I have any prizes. Sorry

Aside from my awe inspiring game, Ramona's 25th-ish round of chemo is starting tomorrow...we actually lost track...
We're pretty settled in here at Frank and Anne Marie's. We spend a bunch of time hanging out with them. Ramona has a Bible study going on. With Ramona feeling the way she does, I still spend more time at home focusing on food and our spirits, than I do at work . I'm actually not doing anything out of the U of M this semester either, just one course hosted at the Springs Church.

Thanks to all the people praying...

-Earl

2009-09-11T17:10:00.000-05:00

This is about a week ago.

One morning Ramona took a shower. Although this in itself isn't big news, during this certain shower her leg started softening up. After some poking and prying, this is what her leg looked like.

After some serious digging, Ramona picked the most incredible booger of her life. This chunk actually did have some boogerish properties to it.......

This is how it currently looks! It's actually pretty exciting to see progress. This leg has caused a lot of pain in the past.
Thank you Jesus!

Chemo

2009-09-06T15:26:00.002-05:00

Yeah so the way things look now, I will be starting out-patient chemo on Tuesday. What this means is that I go to CancerCare at St. B Tuesday afternoon and stay for 3 1/2 hours and then go home. Wednesday and Thursday are the same, I understand. I will be receiving cisplatin and etoposide. One of the major side effects is nausea. We're definitely praying against that.

For the first week and a half that Earl & I moved to Frank & Anne Marie's I felt superb! The last few days have been a little rougher. I've had more chest pain, more exhausted and more random pain, but still in general, I'm amazed how good I feel. God is so good!!

Earl & I have learned so many things in the last 2 weeks. We are spending a lot of time seeking after Jesus and His presence. We are receiving revelation in so many areas-it's super exciting and yet sometimes overwhelming! We are also learning about and experiencing inner healing. The more we learn, the more we hunger for!!

We feel so blessed to be living here. God truly is providing for us!

-Ramona

2009-08-27T00:11:00.000-05:00

So....what do you think? Did any of these pictures turn out?
This, by the way is our new house.
In the last few days/weeks we've been looking at 'Healing Homes' or what exactly to do next....and a lot of things divinely lined up for us to go live beside/with Frank and Anne Marie in the suite attached to their house. (The time frame of this move isn't determined yet, most of our stuff is still in our old house...this all happened pretty quickly) We love being around hope filled people. I've seen a fun change in Ramona in the last 48 hours or so. Her digestive system is starting to work again. Her spirits are much much higher than when she dictated that last blog to me. Thanks for going after complete healing with us!

2009-08-22T11:42:00.002-05:00

Round 23 ended early. Although that may sound good....it's not. We got the results of my CT scan. Dr. Wong said it wasn't good. I interrupted him because I didn't want to know how bad it really was. I asked if the tumors in my lungs had grown significantly and he said "yes". This means that the chemo I've had for 23 rounds isn't working anymore, and so there was no point in me finishing my last day there. What's the plan? I don't know. Dr. Wong said I could just go home and give up or I could try a new outpatient chemo in three weeks. He has no guarantees that this will do anything.

I'm freaking out because I have a hard time breathing. These results weren't really a big surprise. I have chest pain and difficulty breathing constantly. There are times when I feel like I need an oxygen tank.

I know God wants to heal me just as much as before...it just feels like time is running out. I truly don't know if I'll be alive in three weeks. Please pray for us. Pray for peace and direction and God's healing. Also, pray for our friend Jason, he's still fighting for his life in the Minnedosa hospital.

2009-08-18T22:01:00.000-05:00

After getting rid of my hair, we're on the way to the hospital for chemo round #23! (And don't worry, the mohawk is gone already) :)

Hockey & Camping

2009-08-11T22:23:00.000-05:00

Last Thursday Earl & I went to a fundraiser hockey game at the MTS centre that was raising money for cancer. The fundraiser was started by a young man who was battling synovial sarcoma. He passed away in 2006 and since then the fundraiser has been growing annually. A bunch of big names were playing so during the 2nd intermission, Earl Cook (who is in the picture with me) and I got to go into the dressing room. Here we saw Jordin Tootoo, Nigel Dawes, Jonathan Toews, Darren Helm, Travis Zajac, Ian White, Derek Meech, etc. The reason we had this special privilege is cause we're also battling sarcomas just like Todd, the founder. Earl, (as in husband) also got to come in. (Let's be honest, he cared about it a lot more than I did. :) ) I also was in an interview that should be put on the internet in about a week or two. I've never heard of anyone else in Manitoba with synovial sarcoma, so I guess that's why I was interviewed.

On Saturday, Earl & I went camping with my family. Rain and thunderstorms were in the forecast but we did some intense praying and God answered with beautiful sunshine!!

My bros are working hard, making toast. (Yes, I know my brothers are hot and yes, they both have girlfriends!!)

We played some hardcore lawn croquet in some seriously long grass. With just a little cheating, Earl & I came in 2nd!

Yesterday Earl & I went to visit our friend Jason & his wife, Aaron. Jason is in the hospital battling sarcoma. He has not been given much more time to live. Jason & Aaron have two beautiful children, Madison and Cole. We spent some time chatting and praying with Jason & Aaron. We asked them if they would be okay if we would mention them on our blog. Although Jason doesn't speak much anymore, he lit up and was open to all the prayer he could receive. They are asking for as much prayer as possible and so we are asking you, as our blogger family, to join us in praying for a miracle for Jason. I know that naturally many of us don't believe that he will be healed-it seems too impossible. However, the exciting thing is that nothing is impossible for God, he delights in doing the impossible-that is His specialty. He only asks that we have a mustard seed amount of faith. I know that my faith seems so small, however I am praying that Jesus heal His body in a miraculous way and that He would touch not only His body but also every inside part of him. May Jesus and His incredible love be made evident to Jason & Aaron. May they experience supernatural peace.

Thanks so much for all your prayers-we know that something happens in the spiritual realm that wouldn't have happened had we not prayed. Therefore we know that every prayer makes a difference-thank you!!

As for myself, this week I am finally feeling a lot better. Last week was pretty rough with stomach pain and no energy. I am still randomly throwing up and having a lot more pain in my right leg due to an infection, but overall I am feeling good this week. Earl & I hung out at the Forks tonight and enjoyed the beautiful weather. We love relaxing outside whenever possible and are loving this hot weather.

Thanks again for your prayers, support and encouragement. Have a great evening
Ramona

Bird's Hill

2009-07-26T17:27:00.000-05:00

We went to Bird's Hill Park. It only rained on the ride there! Chemo begins this Tuesday night.

2009-07-16T21:52:00.002-05:00

Ramona's pain is under control. In fact, there is almost nothing. She sleeps in bed instead of sideways on the couch. I like that.

2009-07-11T21:45:00.003-05:00

Three years ago today...I was sitting in a small room with Ramona listening to a doctor tell us that Ramona has cancer...um...I'm not sure what to say about that...as I'm doing a quick mental scan...it feels like a lot of things have happened in that time. For some of you reading this, it means you've been battling for Ramona's health in prayer for three years...and again...thank you.

Our last few days here have felt pretty crazy. The round of chemo ended yesterday at around 4 o'clock. We went home, and when we got here, Ramona went almost straight to her bed. I'm not sure why the pain only started when we got home...maybe it's our stairs...anyway, almost immediately, her left leg was causing excruciating pain. We have a lot of powerful pain medication at our house, but we couldn't get her pain under control. I've seen her in extreme pain many times, but I'm not sure it's been that bad before. Finally at 7 p.m. we headed to the emergency room to try and get her pain under control. I believe this is the first time where the reason we headed to emergency for tumor pain. Finally by 10:00 ish the pain was roughly under control. Ramona stayed the night in emergency with her parents and by 9 this morning was back home. The pain is largely under control now. Ramona slept a large portion of the day today although we did make it out to part of Ryan and Melissa's reception. It's likely that the combination of radiation and chemo in such a short time frame is causing this pain.
So, that's where it's at. I need to go give her a needle and eventually head to bed too.

Sleep well,
Earl

2009-07-06T21:48:00.002-05:00

Wow! We feel incredibly prayed for!
Please keep praying as treatment plans have changed since our last post. Radiation is being stopped and Ramona is going in for chemo tomorrow night. Chemo has a greater chance of working on both her lungs and her leg.
Sleeping is still a battle due to sharp pain, but in general has improved from a few days ago.
Healing, peace, decreased pain, and a good hospital room are excellent things to pray for.

2009-07-02T23:28:00.000-05:00

Ramona managed to fall asleep. You're welcome to put your hand on your computer screen and pray

2009-07-02T21:54:00.002-05:00

From a medical perspective, I guess you could refer to this as a bad day. Let me first update you on a few of the things going on.
Last Thursday, we had an appointment to have Dr. Daennick look at the wound on Ramona's right shin.....
We were pretty honest with our nurse about how everything was going and almost without realizing what were doing...we're back in the hospitals
Last friday, we spent the day in HSC getting radiation started. Today was treatment number 3.

Ramona also had a CT scan of her chest today. We have the preliminary results. There is a tumor that is wrapped around her aorta. This obviously deserves immediate medical attention.

I wanted you prayer warriors to know what is going on. Thank you so much for praying for us.

Ramona spends a lot of time awake at night because of pain now...fear is also probably a bigger battle for her than ever before.

It was kinda neat where we could see God today.
We spent quite a bit of time today waiting for our doctor to get the results from the CT scan. Our nurse had given me the heads up that the news wasn't good. She brought me to a different room just before I would talk to Dr. Daennick to hear this from him. As I was sitting there, my attention was drawn to a Canadian Living magazine. On the cover was a small heading with the words 'miracle children'.
I was curious. I opened up the magazine and the main quote of that story is as follows: Where there is great love there are always miracles - Willa Cather.
That's pretty crazy. That's the quote that was on our wedding invitation. Pretty awesome thing to read just before the doctor comes in with his news. Rarely am I so encouraged from a Canadian Living magazine :)

-Earl

Deeper

2009-06-22T16:04:00.001-05:00

This weekend Earl & I went to a Young Adult's Retreat called "Deeper" with a bunch of awesome people from Calvary Temple. We were at the Calvary Temple Camp at Red Rock Lake in the Whiteshell. This is us enjoying the sun and doing some canoeing. I hadn't been on a canoe in 3 years and loved it-even though Earl did a lot of the work. :)
The last 2 weeks have been intense. The tumor in my left leg has grown tremendously. When we left Redding, it was really small and we were super excited about how it had gotten so much smaller while we were there. Within about a week of coming home it felt about 4 times bigger. That is completely insane-it hardly seems possible. The tumor is so large now, that it is causing a lot of pain-especially nerve pain at night.

Earl & I are desperate and so hungry. We are pursuing healing at all costs. Therefore we've started to focus on inner healing. We're starting to understand the importance of that. Everyone has wounds and lies that for whatever reason, they have grown up believing. It's so amazing when you go through the lies that satan has tried to deceive you in, and find the truth, how freeing it is. All of us have opened up doors where we have allowed satan to come in and deceive. When we shut those doors and command satan and his lies to leave, not only does inner healing happen, but now physical healing also has a chance to happen. That is something that we are going through and learning. As much as it's hard-it's totally worth it.

This last weekend was totally amazing. The friends that we've made through Beyond and who were at the retreat, are so encouraging. Saturday night, one of my friends went up to a bunch of people and invited them to come and pray for me. I truly don't know how many people came up and surrounded me, probably about 15-20. They were crying out to God and asking the Holy Spirit to heal. I felt so loved-I know the only way I'm healed is through God doing a healing miracle. Here my friends were agreeing and believing with me for that miracle. The thing is, about half of the people I had never met before and some of them, I still don't know their names! After praying and praising God for a long time, the Holy Spirit revealed to one of my friends the strategy that He wanted to use for me to be healed. She was reminded of the passage in the Bible where Jesus is in the Garden of Gethsemane and he asks his disciples to pray for Him. When He comes back to His disciples, who are asleep, He asks them if they could not even stay awake for just one hour? Matthew 26:40 My friend felt that the Holy Spirit was saying a similar thing-Could we not pray for just one hour? Even more specifically, she felt people needed to pray in tongues for one hour every day, until total healing happened!

So immediately my friends look at their watches and start praying. I lay on the floor cause it was about midnight. A bunch of them lay on the floor, put their hands out and started praying. How beautiful-what love! An hour later we went to bed and the next morning from 8-9 the same thing happened. These friends have committed to this until healing happens. For those that are able, we are going to try and meet once a week to stay accountable. Our friend asked that we post this strategy on our blog so that everyone who wants to can join us. Gladly email us with questions.

God is so good. Yes, the pain is bad, the tumors seem to be growing and I am constantly fighting fear and yet I know God wants to heal me and I've got a group of friends who are pressing in for me. The battle is being won-satan is being defeated!!

So this is where we are at. Thank you for understanding that this blog is like our journal. We are learning and growing and are using the blog to pour out our thoughts, feelings and experiences. We are not asking that everyone agree with what we are saying-we are just pouring out our thoughts. We do not in any way, want this to be a place where theological debates are held, but rather, a place where, if people want to, they can read about the lives of two people who are fighting through and defeating cancer. We want the blog to be a place of encouragement for everyone-where only encouraging, life-giving words are spoken by us and others. We love you all!

And just an encouraging side note, the back pain that I've been battling has been about non-existent since Saturday night since people were praying-God is so good and prayer works!!

2009-06-06T20:58:00.005-05:00

Just a quick note to let you know that we're home and have been since Monday night!

We had an incredible time in Redding and are continuing to absorb all that we learned. How awesome to know that God is ALWAYS in a good mood, that He loves us more than we can fathom and that He wants to heal me even more than I want to be healed.

Over and over in the last months I've been told to rest and not strive-that I don't have to work for my healing. That's been hard for me because I've always been performance driven. Somehow I felt that if I read my Bible more, prayed more, just in general was more Christlike, then I would be healed. That somehow God was waiting to heal me until I reached a certain level of perfectionism. I had such a wonderful reminder of that again while we were in Bethel. I remember a couple of times people telling me while they were praying for me, "You don't have to pray, you just get to absorb." And so, while others prayed, I absorbed a lot of prayer, and Jesus did a wonderful work not just in my body but also deep inside. Instead of begging God to heal me, I have the privilege of asking for more of His presence and with His presence healing will come. For me that is so freeing!

I'm so thankful for what I'm learning and experiencing. Having a relationship with Jesus and learning to listen more to the Holy Spirit is so exciting!

Earl turned a quarter century last Sunday and so we celebrated with our families yesterday. Getting old is really rough on him as he's not feeling very good today. :)

Thanks once again for all your prayers while we were on our trip. We're so super grateful for the time we could spend out there and for what we could all learn.
Have a wonderful evening
Ramona

2009-05-31T10:46:00.002-05:00

Fun story of the day.
While we were in the Healing rooms they called out a few conditions and gave those of us who were at the conference a chance to pray.
Ramona and Dawn (a friend of ours who is herself battling cystic fibrosis) have a chance to pray for a lady with a shoulder problem. As they are praying I can see them smiling and I can see this lady testing out her arm. When I go back to chat with Ramona a little while later, the lady they were praying for is actually up front giving her testimony of healing. She had pain in her right arm that disappeared.
Blessings,
Earl

2009-05-30T10:27:00.002-05:00

God is good.
I think it's time to just write. No words will quite sum up what we're experiencing right now anyway.

Chris Gore (one of the pastors) has an incredible testimony. To sum it up, he has lead meetings where they have seen 35,000 miracles in 9 nights. He also has a daughter at home with cerebral palsy that he's obviously contending for. Last year at this same Healing conference, he was up with her the whole night while she was screaming in pain....then the next morning, he was speaking on the goodness of God. Wow!
We saw two pretty ridiculous things happen in Ramona's body. At two different times we were praying over the tumor in Ramona's left leg and felt some shrinkage. It's pretty fun to feel it soften up. Peter, a doctor from the UK was also there praying with us. It's awesome to have his affirmation of what is going on.
Also, we watched Ramona's legs change length. You may wonder what that has to do with healing cancer.....and so do we. Keith (third year student) came to us yesterday and asked if Ramona's legs were different lengths. Sure enough, they were. So, we prayed over them and then one grew. That was pretty fun. They changed, but they still weren't equal. Her body felt like it was lop sided the other way. Later on in the evening, we prayed again and her legs changed again!!!!!!
These are the testimonies we remind ourselves of as we fall asleep while battling for the pain in her back.
A ridiculous number of stories still untold.
Heading to the healing rooms now,
Earl

2009-05-27T03:32:00.001-05:00

Yesterday we took a ride to the coast. My wet hand is as close as Ramona got to the ocean :) It was kinda cold and a bit of an awkward descent to the water

Okay, I know this picture didn't turn out to well. We drove hundreds of miles to see big trees...and we finally found them. It was a fun little date on our one day out here that doesn't have any thing planned.

The Bethel church is in the background. You can see the edge of the 24hr prayer house on the left

Ramona is cooling her feet in the Pool of Bethesda. (seen in picture above)

You know, it's alot easier for me to describe these pictures than to explain what's actually going on out here. I just mentioned to Ramona that if we won Lotto 649...it would only be another good part of the day.
On Sunday we were incredibly blessed. Bill Johnson spoke sunday morning and Kris Vallatton spoke Sunday night (both messages available at www.ibethel.tv) It was almost surreal. While Bill was speaking I kept catching myself looking at the screens instead of him...I was hardly used to him being real.
Ramona was prayed over after both services on Sunday. Both times were incredibly powerful and encouraging. The words spoken over her spoke so much.......life.
Today we both had sozo sessions. This isn't couselling, it's kinda like having a wise/spirit filled person guide you through the process of the Holy Spirit speaking to you and revealing things.....etc....
Again, powerful and freeing and....you're kinda left with this fun feeling afterward
We had coffee with Matthew this evening. He is the guy who prayer over Ramona Sunday morning after church. It again was just an incredible blessing. It really feels like tonight was simply a giant leap in our relationships with Jesus. There were so many words spoken over us tonight again. So many things spoken over us in the last few days....just line up....and speak to who God is and the incredible plans He has for us.
I've journalled about as much in the last five days as in the previous month and a half.
Tomorrow the Healing Conference begins. The feeling I get is that we haven't seen anything yet.
We've definitely seen some breakthrough in Ramona's body. Although the completion of her healing hasn't happened yet (last I checked...maybe I should quickly stick my hand under the blanket and find out), we can't help but have our faith sky rocket in this sort of an atmosphere. (The quote from Bill Johnson "A day without a miracle is just a boring day" is true)...
We're really blessed with peace
We realized again today how incredibly supported we've been these last three years...I again want to thank everyone for investing in our lives....
It's due to your financial gifts and prayers that we could ever come here.
to be continued......for a long time
-Earl

2009-05-23T21:28:00.001-05:00

It's truly a pleasure being at Jacob and Lilly's house. (this is the picture that doesn't include Hannah Montana)
We were at the Healing Rooms this morning. It's unbelievable. I'm not sure how to describe it. Either you have experienced the presence of God or you haven't. Descriptive words by themselves don't feel like they will accomplish much. There is a much bigger expectation and peace for us being here a second time now. It's a lot of fun to be in such an atmosphere of.....joy. Although we didn't watch Ramona's hip grow out and cancer disappear right there. The understanding that God is good and loves to heal is....confirmed and solidified over and over. It's fun to hear testimonies of healing and watch people waving canes in the air instead of leaning on them

We went to Lake Shasta this afternoon as a family of 10 and took the ride to the Lake Shasta Caverns

Thanks so much for praying for us......

For now,
Earl

2009-05-23T00:22:00.000-05:00

We kinda forgot to take pictures last time we were out in Redding...so we're being more intentional this time. This first picture is Ramona eating ice cream in Denver.

And... we're safely at Jacob and Lilly's house. It's time to sleep. We're going to Bethel's healing rooms in the morning.

Off To California!

2009-05-21T22:18:00.002-05:00

A little update...
Earl & I had an awesome time at Beyond last Sunday-God's presence was super powerful!! Thanks to all of our awesome friends there who pray and pray and pray. We love you and appreciate you so much!! It's such an awesome thing to be surrounded by others who believe!
And so now our bags are about packed and tomorrow we're off to Redding, California. Earl & I are really excited to see what God's going to do there. We both expect big things. We're longing for huge spiritual growth as well as the cancer being eradicated!! Pray that the tumor pain that I'm experiencing now will not distract me too much. It's so hard not to fear when you have pain due to lung tumors and you know that if they get too large-you'll die. HOWEVER, I believe I will live and that God's got huge plans for our lives. Satan knows it and is just trying to give me fear.

And so that's that. We'll see how well we are with keeping you posted. :)

Ramona

2009-05-10T23:09:00.002-05:00

I'm in one of these moods where if I don't watch myself....I'll just write endlessly...we just got back from an awesome time at Beyond......

...in my attempt to keep this business-like, I'll get to one of my points.
I was just going to mention that Ramona is not doing chemo this week. We're flying out to Redding on the 22nd and don't want Ramona's counts to be low while we're out there....

...Ramona is also mentioning that a good thing to pray for is her breathing/chest.....something just isn't quite right....

Be blessed and have a good night....

-Earl

2009-05-04T17:55:00.000-05:00

We went to Kendra's funeral on Friday. It's always tough for me when someone passes away, but it's especially hard when it's someone who's battling the same thing I am.

Kendra was diagnosed with E-wing's Sarcoma about a year ago. We spent numerous hours together in the hospital receiving some of the same kinds of chemo. Kendra had a bubbly, happy spirit. She loved to talk!
Kendra and I were both going to beat this and one day we'd have a big reunion with all our other sarcoma buddies and introduce our families and very importantly, our babies.

The last time I saw Kendra was the day she was told that she was palliative. I told her not to believe it, just because the doctors think you're palliative, doesn't mean you're going to die. We both serve a God who's way bigger and does incredible miracles. Even though Kendra had just heard such horrible news minutes earlier, when she visited me she was her usual happy self. She kept saying, "God's got a plan. Either He's going to heal me on earth or He's going to heal me in heaven."

Well, she's in heaven now and a part of me is so jealous. Not one drop of chemo is ever going to touch her again. Right now she has no pain and is running around, having an amazing time.
Kendra, I guess our big reunion is going to happen in heaven someday where we can show off our new bodies and praise Jesus together.
It's going to be lonely in the hospital without you-I miss you
Much love,
Ramona

2009-04-28T21:48:00.003-05:00

Well, it's quite a day to be posting. I don't even know where to start.
This morning we went to Cancer Care to talk to Dr. Wong about the CT scan that was done during the last round of chemo. There are two parts to the results. The first part is awesome. Ramona's right leg, the one that's been causing all the pain lately, shows a big liquid mess. Although, 'liquid mess' is not usually great news, the exciting part is that the CT shows that this liquid is not malignant. So...right now she's left with a big wound that definitely isn't fun....but at least there's nothing growing (I believe we refer to that as answered prayer!).
The lungs showed a dis coordinate (I think that's the word he used??? it started with dis...) response. The biggest tumors in the lungs shrunk, some tumors stayed the same and two small tumors in the lungs grew a bit (since February). There are no new tumors! So...I guess that is a high percentage of good news. The two small tumors that aren't responding to chemo may result in an adjustment to treatment plans (We talked about all kinds of options and will wait for Dr. Wong to talk to his people). Feel free to aim specific prayers at those two tumors.

This afternoon we heard that our friend Kendra is now hanging out with Jesus in heaven. (I haven't looked back to see if we've mentioned Kendra. She was fighting a sarcoma too.) I'm sure Kendra must love being in the pain free presence of Jesus. Lorlie, we're praying you have peace tonight. It's been a long battle for you guys.

I will admit, this makes me a little scared and little bit angry, and I'm really in the middle of processing everything. I don't know why Kendra was not healed, yet I refuse to believe that Jesus didn't want to heal her. Jesus taught us to pray "Your kingdom come, Your will be done on earth as it is in heaven" Remember, Kendra is now in heaven, which is awesome for her, but what about "on earth as it is in heaven".
Those of you who have ever played sports with me know that I get mad a little too easy. When I'm playing hockey, if I see some cocky guy get all excited when he scores a goal, I'd like nothing more than to stretch him out on the ice. If I'm watching TV, I get mad when the the team I'm cheering for doesn't win. I, for some reason, always think my team deserves to win.
I feel like I'm stuck watching Satan win. Jesus has come to "give us life to the full" and Satan has come to "steal, kill, and destroy". Excuse me, but Satan is not more powerful.....
I think I'll just leave my online processing there for now....

We received a gift a few months back, that I have not mentioned until now. We've received many gifts in the last few years and are thankful for them all, but this is neat. I love when people who are hungry to know God and know what He's doing help us out.
Thank you to Rick and Elaine and everyone else who contributed money to pay for our next trip to Redding, California. The weekend we spent in Redding in February was probably the three days of most accelerated spiritual growth of our lives. The teaching coming from there as well as the testimonies continue to be incredible (www.ibethel.org). We have our flights booked for May 22nd. Our stay will include a healing conference May 27,28, and 29th. We're really excited.

....I think it's time to give Ramona her needle. (Not fun for her) (What's with all these (ridiculous)brackets today?)

Ramona's also having alot of stomach discomfort that can be prayed for.

-Earl

2009-04-26T00:00:00.002-05:00

Ramona's out of the hospital. I'll tell you all the things we're thankful for shortly. Right now, I'm thankful for a bed.
-Earl

2009-04-23T15:49:00.002-05:00

A quick note from the St. B kiosk.
According to the time on Ramona's chemo pump there was 52 minutes left of chemo today. There will be a few little things to do after that and then we're heading home. Round number 20 is almost done.
Ramona has essentially slept through this round of chemo. She actually threw up today too. For some reason she's not feeling good. This, as well as her infected right leg, give a few specifics to pray for.
...time almost up...
-Earl

2009-04-14T22:10:00.000-05:00

What a beautiful day. Ramona is here giving herself her IV antibiotics out on the deck. Taking this picture helped me to procrastinate studying for a few seconds (I learned in church that right brained people think best laying down...I think it's working). Tomorrow morning we're heading to St. B to have Ramona's platelets checked. We're a little suspicious that they're really low.

2009-04-13T22:51:00.000-05:00

Here's Ramona with her new blanket. The credit for it goes to her Petkau family. Thanks

The easter egg in question is actually visible on this picture. Can you find it?

I think we're playing Buzzword here.
Ramona's leg is still her biggest source of pain.

2009-04-08T16:18:00.002-05:00

Ramona is again at the point where her blood counts drop out. Hemoglobin is 90. We'll head in to Cancer Care tomorrow morning to get two units of blood. The white count is 0.2. This, again, essentially means that she has no immune system right now. If you were a nurse you would probably either tell Ramona to stay home or wear a mask or have any sick people around her wear a mask. Ramona is extremely tired today, hopefully she'll have energy by the weekend. We definitely plan on enjoying Easter.
-Earl

2009-04-07T23:23:00.000-05:00

Okay, so we have some good news that we kind of forgot about, but while we were having coffee with Mark & Raelynn tonight we remembered, but I'll show you a bunch of random pictures first. This first picture is my view from the laptop now. Ramona is heating up the cheese sauce for our usual 10 p.m. 'meal'

This is us on Valentines Day. We're at Don Pedro's. I'm very glad the tumors are smaller now than they were then.

This is Ramona's fourth set of hair. It is now unfortunately in the garbage or clogging our sink. It actually disappeared a month ago already.

This is us at Celebrations in early January. Rick and Elaine took us here for our anniversary. I can't remember what Rick was wearing that night, this is either him or our server :)

Anyway, Ramona had a MUGA scan last week.
A quick re-cap of MUGA scans.
Three years ago when this all started, Ramona's heart had a 75%....fraction....thing...meaning her heart was healthy (if you're going to bother with a science degree, I would recommend learning a few scientific words). After a few rounds of chemo (three years ago), her fraction was down to 51% which is the very bottom of normal and indicates that heart damage had happened. So anyway, this apparently irreparable heart damage had improved in the last few scans (the scans have showed numbers in the upper 50's)
The scan last week showed her heart was at 61%! That's pretty ridiculous.

IV antibiotics should be starting for her leg tomorrow.
We'll also hopefully get Ramona's hemoglobin checked tomorrow so she can get fueled up for the weekend if needed.
-Earl

2009-04-06T13:05:00.000-05:00

This is Ramona's leg. It could definitely use some prayer. It is apparent that chemotherapy does not aid the healing process of radiation wounds.

Um...Thursday afternoon Ramona was released from St. B. This last chemo round has been better than the previous two rounds. Although Ramona still has relatively little energy, she's up walking around and searching for bread in the freezer as I'm writing this.

I need to run to class,
Earl

2009-03-31T01:45:00.004-05:00

So...I can't sleep. And instead of counting sheep I might as well post all the blog-ish thoughts that are going through my mind. For those of you who know me at all, it's fairly significant that I can't sleep. And, Ramona, I apologize that on the night when you're not home I'm wide awake in the middle of night, instead of my usual complete grogginess when you're in pain.
The reason I'm awake is likely one of two reasons. On the way to the hospital, Becki was with us (and is actually in the hospital with Ramona right now too) and I thought it would be wise to show her how dumb Ramona and I were while we were dating. So, we're taking a different route to the hospital to pick up our nachos from Carlos and Murphy's on the way. We stop at the parliament buildings on the way to do what we like to call "purple city". You would think I could come up with better dating ideas in this wonderful city of ours. Anyway, this involves first staring into the lights shining up at the parliament building for a minute or so...then just looking around at the city lights. As you might have guessed, the whole city looks purple.
As I'm noticing right now, the temporary thrill or purple lights seems to be overshadowed by this floating feeling I've had since.
The other reason I'm awake may be the absolutely amazing sermon I just got to listen to. It would be easiest to just post the link instead of explaining the sermon. Since I'm not sure how to do that, just go to the website http://www.ibethel.org/ . There are innumerable good sermons, but the one I just listened to was called Spoil! (All the youth that I was speaking with on Friday, this sermon would be the perfect addition to give you countless examples of how amazing God is).
We live in an amazing time, with such a wealth of information available. There is such revival going on world-wide. If you're ever discouraged with what's happening in your own life, there are countless stories online of what God is up to. The fact that you're reading this means you have access to it. For me, even doing something as simple as googling "sarcoma miracle prayer" gives me stories. The Bible is filled with miracles, but for myself, it's taken months of time just listening to other stories of what's happening in the world right now, to bring back my fascination for the Bible.
This Sunday morning, I heard a message including that Jesus' body was broken for our healing. Then Sunday evening I go to church and my friend who was ushering starts talking to me and telling me that the night before he was coughing blood and then he invited his friends over to pray and now he's in church ushering.
I still don't fully understand communion, but I knew that Jesus' blood was for the forgiveness of sins and his body was broken for....ya...maybe forgiveness too??? Jesus' body was broken for our healing, which includes physical healing. It's amazing to hear just a few accounts of the hundreds or thousands of healings that are happening here and around the world every week.

These last few weeks, were in some ways pretty tough. Ramona has had significantly less energy and the middle few days of this time away from the hospital were very pain filled days. Ramona had a transfusion a few days ago, which may have slightly improved her energy, but slight at best.
Interesting story from about a week ago that made for big encouragement in the tiredness.

I went to work one morning and, as often happens, there are new guys in my area (Teen Challenge guys rotate through there). So, I said my introductions to the guys I hadn't met and went to work. I was working outside by myself half an hour later when this new guy, Linden, comes to me with fresh recollection " Hey, I know you, you're the one from Beyond with the beautiful wife". Although I'm not used to the direct approach of my friend from the Bahamas, it sure is nice to meet another person who sees things the way I do. Anyway, I agree with him and he continues ".....the lady with the short haircut that looks like a model".
Anyway....eventually he got off the topic of how beautiful Ramona is and he began to talk about cancer. He began to tell me that two of his brothers had died of cancer and his dad had died of cancer. Cancer is a topic that we could relate to on some level.....but let me try to explain this correctly. This is the point of the conversation where I naturally was beginning to brace myself for what I knew was coming. I was expecting him to speak about our situation as if the inevitable doom was coming and he could empathize with me and all that kind of.....stuff.
Anyway, thank God, I was wrong. Like before, I can't remember his exact words but he told me that when saw Ramona he knew in his heart that she was going to live. This is awesome and very encouraging for us.
I wish we kept track of this from the beginning just how many times people have heard from God and it's been spoken over Ramona that she will live.

....I think I'm starting to get tired.

Ramona needs a miracle more than ever. Thanks so much for praying.
I really don't know how to sum up the presence of God...I'll just paste a little piece of an email I received.

Keep trusting in Jesus and hold onto His perfect promises over your lives! I understand it must be a time of great trial you are going through, but our precious Lord Jesus is there to comfort and sustain you through the very hardest of times...bringing hope and joy where there seems to be only despair and sadness. Jesus, we believe in Your power to heal and we declare Supernatural healing over Earl's wife today. Touch her with your mighty hand and breath life into her body! Nothing is impossible for You! There is Power in your precious Blood. May His Presence touch your very being today and fill you with peace as you trust in Him

ps. This email was written from a place where it's not unusual to see people raised from the dead

99,100. There we go, that's all the sheep, Good night,
Earl

2009-03-30T20:05:00.001-05:00

There is an incredible amount of information that should be added to this blog. For now, thanks so much for being in this fight with us. Ramona is going in for chemo round number 19 tonight........

2009-03-13T00:18:00.002-05:00

Round 18 is finished.
We got home today around 6:30 p.m.
Although Ramona has essentially been in bed ever since we got home, she is doing better than last round. The stomach pain is more bearable and her methadone dosage is lower, meaning that her mental state is better too.
Often after a time in the hospital, Ramona will have been on so much medication that although we've spent countless hours together, we're in very different worlds by the time we get home.
Our spiritual journey feels like it needs a minute by minute update, instead of every few days. In the last little while we've had some time to reflect on our last half year as we've either catching up with people we haven't seen in a while, or we're just thinking.
It's interesting on a week like this. The person two doors down the hall on 5B is Biship van Johnson. (His and Gloria's pictures can be found on powerformiracles.com). It makes for amazing conversations at we get to here so many stories of what God has done through some of these people.
I even bought Father Rolland (St. B priest) a coffee and got him to tell me stories of some of the awesome things happening in St. B.
I really have no idea how to organize my thoughts right now. I'm tempted to delete this whole thing and go to bed, but I really want to thank the multitudes of people that are sticking with us.
.....thanks,
Earl

2009-03-07T22:12:00.002-06:00

We're hanging out at home and having fun. Ramona just fixed up some chai lattes, and in her own words she's "eating like a pig again". We just came back from watching the Bison's men's hockey team play their last game of the year.
Ramona's leg hurts....lots. It's red. It's hot. Um...and swollen. I guess that kind of bites.
Ramona's new blood seems to be working great (meaning our house got cleaned thoroughly).
Chemo starts Tuesday morning (Admission Monday night)
The chai lattes taste very good.
Remember to change your clocks tomorrow after church :)
The chai lattes are actually a little too strong.
Um...I guess I'll go boil some extra milk and quit writing.
Sleep well,
Earl

2009-03-03T22:00:00.002-06:00

Ramona's leg (the one that just got radiated) was starting to look pretty normal. In fact, we were just noticing that the radiated leg was actually thinner than the other one.
Anyway, these last two days, the radiation spot started turning kinda purple-ish again. Spotted and purple-ish is rarely good news in any situation, so we went to cancer care to get things checked out. Ramona has also been having slight nosebleeds through out these last couple of days.
Anyway, the blood work came back and Ramona's platelets are 11 and her hemoglobin is 73.
I'm not exactly sure physically how to explain the energy, but Ramona made supper after the appointments. Then we went to cheaps to catch a movie......and we're back home eating popcorn....
So, tomorrow Ramona needs to be at Cancer Care to get the platelets topped up and friday go back to St. B for packed red cells.
Oh ya, the doctors are also adding antibiotics, because the leg appears infected again.
Have a good night,
Earl

2009-03-02T00:01:00.005-06:00

...I simply won't take the time to try and explain everything that's happening in the emotional and spiritual realms right now......I don't really think I'm absorbing half of what's going on....our brains are much slower than our spirits....anyway....
Just a quick note on how Ramona is doing physically.
Ramona has been exhausted and feeling sick (dealing with stomach cramps and things like that) for the early part of this last week. Saturday afternoon was probably the first time during the week that she had a few minutes of energy to get off the couch and do some 'normal' house cleaning things
We're thankful Ramona's starting to feel a little better. By Thursday night we were beginning to be concerned that she had some kind of hospital infection (C. diff or one of those crazy things). As far as we know, she has nothing like that.
It was a pleasure to be able to attend church today...Ramona missed both services last Sunday and I missed one.
It's been almost frightening these last few weeks how much time, money, food and prayers are being invested in us....Thank you.
To be continued,
Earl

2009-02-23T09:55:00.002-06:00

Well... I was going to post last night but, at the time when I was going to write Ramona woke up....it's been a long time since I had seen her as nauseous as she was these last few days...
I was going post this morning too, but in the middle of talking to nurses and trying to get the meds Ramona needs and getting to school on time...it just didn't happen.
Ramona didn't have a good night at all. Stomach cramps kept her up quite a while . We appreciate all the prayers that are happening. Somehow the spiritual battles intensify when you're physically beaten up. Jesus' promises of healing are no less true right now than they were two weeks ago in Redding.

Although Ramona is not feeling good, she's feeling a little better this afternoon. She's actually starting to want to eat a bit.

Ramona was eating some angel soup this afternoon. Thanks for the soup Melissa. Here is the story she emailed to me about the soup:

So I pulled up to my garage last Thursday afternoon, after a grocery shopping spree with Katrina. A group of people were standing in the empty lot beside the garage. I felt a little bit uncomfortable with it, but figured I would just pull in and close the door, and all would be well. I proceded to do just that, but as I was driving in, a 30ish year old native guy from the group, sauntered up behind the car, and just stood there. I sat in the car, pretty sure it would be really rude to close the door in his face. So I waited a few seconds, hoping he'd leave, but finally I just got out of the car and went to talk to him. He held out a bag of groceries that he wanted me to have, to which I replied, 'I think you need them more than I do, but thanks!'...to which he responded, 'NO, take them.' ....to which I replied, 'No, seriously, I just bought a TON of groceries. You keep them.' ... At that point, he practically shoved the bag into my hand, determined I would take them. So, there I stood with a bag of groceries (mostly canned goods), and my car FULL of groceries, and he walked away. I closed the door, and put the bag down, thinking that if there was a bomb waiting to go off, better in the garage than in the house, and 'moved' into my house, forgetting about the incident. I went out again later on, and when I got back home, I took the bag inside, and went on to other things yet again. When I finally went through the donation, slowly at first, I started catching on to a theme...beans, diced tomatoes, more beans, tomato soup, a second tin of diced tomatoes, more beans (a chili version), corn, and another tin of tomato soup...Absolutely tin for tin (plus several random ones, namely condensed consomme soup and a tin of chick peas, as well as a small box of pasta) the exact ingredients I needed for a chili soup I had thought of making for Earl & Ramona, the night before!!!!!! I just stood there, as it was beginning to soak in. There were several other neat things...The recipe my Mom had sent me just a few weeks earlier, called for a tin of tomato sauce, but my Mom's revised version said 'or tomato soup'. According to the recipe, I was short a tin of corn, but I had put in less last time I had made it. And then the beans, as well as the soups, were ALL random brands, none of them matching up, obviously not a bag of stuff this guy had gone out to buy just for me. And No, the stuff was not expired. I had to wonder, did I meet an angel??? A native angel...in my backyard?? Cause the groceries were definitely sent by God! Hope you guys enjoy the 'Angel Soup!' Needless to say, I won't ever make it again without being reminded of you, and of my great big, PERSONAL GOD!!!!!
melissa

Later,
Earl

2009-02-21T16:39:00.002-06:00

Just a note that we're home. Ramona has slept a large portion of the last day and a half. She really doesn't feel good when she wakes up, so, for now, all rest seems like a really good thing.
-Earl

2009-02-20T12:15:00.002-06:00

Well...back to the old St. B kiosks here again.
Ramona is upstairs either sleeping or having the chemo pushed in. The chemo plan is a huge answer to prayer. The whole regime has pretty much changed. What used to be a 5 day plan is now a three day plan. The chemo used to run 19-20 hours a day, now it runs about 7 hours a day. The plan for next round (should it be needed) would be to have the chemo as an outpatient and come into cancer care for three days in a row to get the chemo. What an amazing improvement. Prayer answered.
We're still kind of in the process of getting Ramona's pain under control. The last few nights haven't been a lot of fun. The sleep that happens is kind of a chemical sleep....
Anyway, we expect to be out of here by Saturday afternoon/evening.
Thank you for believing with us,
Earl

2009-02-18T19:06:00.002-06:00

As I'm scanning back and seeing the last time we posted was eight days ago I realize I'd have to sit here forever to properly fill everyone in on what's been happening in the last two weeks. The experience in Redding continued to get better the days following our return. We absorbed so much in so few days that it's taking a while to soak in.
Ramona's been having more pain, as it seems that the tumors haven't yet realized they aren't welcomed in her body. It was almost...weird...last week as we spent a lot of time awake in the night praying...and look back on those pain filled nights as.......fun isn't the right word...maybe powerful is a better word.
Within...I would say the last 3-4 days-ish, Ramona's pain has significantly increased and mobility has decreased. The left leg tumor is as big as I have ever seen it. Lung tumors are now causing constant pain again.
Yesterday, I went to Cancer care and told them we needed to do some chemo. So, tonight we are heading back to St. B, to begin what is chemo round number 17.
This is obviously not a fun day. Ramona has told herself countless times that "this is my last round of chemo ever".
Many people are praying for us all the time and thank you. When I asked Ramona what to write she said to "beg people to pray more".
....I'm really searching for my encouraging thought of the day here...
Ramona has been without chemo now for two months. As we looked back on these two months, they are probably the most fun we've had since we've been married.
There are two things that have changed.
1. We go to Starbucks together atleast once a week.
2. We're starting to see that God likes to hang around with us too.
Thank you for your prayers,
Earl

2009-02-10T21:41:00.002-06:00

We're back safely in Manitoba......I have no idea how to start writing. We just got back from one of the most amazing weekends ever. Although Ramona's healing didn't happen as we were hoping, there is still....such an incredibly momentum that comes from this weekend. People were healed all around us...people were prophetically "reading our mail"...just such an incredible atmosphere of faith. Jesus is everywhere but such a large collection of Spirit filled people is unbelievable. Thanks Jake and Lillie for hosting us and pouring into us for the weekend....I don't feel like I can do justice to portraying what all happened...in fact Ramona and I just spent a bunch of time this evening writing together just trying to collect our minds on everything that happened.
In addition to all this, Ramona had an appointment with Dr. Wong this morning. In general, the tumors have doubled in size since early December and Ramona is dealing with pain, especially in the night. The medical options available continue to be temporary at best.
Thanks so much for praying....
Earl

2009-02-05T18:45:00.004-06:00

So what should I say? It feels like so much has happened in the last while that I don't know where to start.

Thursday night I was really cold and had chills; Friday morning I had a super bad headache and in the evening I also was really cold with chills; Saturday morning I had a fever of 38.8 and by 3:00ish we were in emergency. I knew that with the open wound on my leg and with the way I was feeling I had to get things checked out. We were out of there within a few hours, but now having to go to a clinic daily for IV antibiotics. So, since then we've been traveling to get my antibiotics done. On Monday the doctor at the IV clinic told me to go through emergency to get an ultrasound done. This was to make sure that there wasn't an abcess and that the lump was dying tumor instead. So after 3 medical appointments on Monday, we went to emerg around 8 in the evening. They couldn't do an ultrasound then, but I hung around in emerg until 1 in the morning and had a CT done of my lungs to make sure there was no blood clot. Tuesday at 9 I was back at St. B for my ultrasound. Since then I've had all kinds of appointments. All in all-I have an infection on my right leg that I am on antibiotics for. Everything else is "okay".

On Sunday, Earl & I were at Beyond like usual and someone came up to me and made a comment that suggested just a little bit of doubt for my healing on earth. I tried to immediately push it out of my mind but Satan kept trying to make me doubt. So I prayed about it and asked God to confirm my healing by having someone come up to me and somehow in their comments say that I would be healed. I thanked Him that He would do it and left it at that. At the end of the service we were getting ready to go and literally less than a minute before we were going to leave our seats, a friend came and chatted with me and almost immediately stated that I would be healed! Thank you Jesus! I don't think she has a clue how much her chat with me meant!

This is what I read in my devotions yesterday. It's an excerpt by Bill Johnson from the book, "When Heaven Invades Earth".
"...I must passionately desire life-changing encounters with God, over and over again. I must cry out day and night for them..and be specific. I must be willing to travel to get what I need. If God is moving somewhere else more than where I live, I must go! If He is using someone more than He is using me, I must humbly go to them and ask them to pray for me with the laying on of hands.
Some may ask, "Why can't God touch me where I am?" He can. But He usually moves in ways that emphasize our need for others, rather than adding to our independence. Wise men have always been willing to travel."

.....and this is where Ramona quit writing, leaving me to explain the significance of what she read.

For the last few months it feels like we've been learning at break-neck speed just a little bit of who God is and what He's doing and His healing power etc...etc.. We were also introduced to the ministry of Bill Johnson and some of the things going on in Redding, California. I wrote an email to someone out there saying that when the time is right, we'll come.
....and, now the tickets are booked for this weekend. We fly to Redding tomorrow morning.
It was a neat affirmation to Ramona to read that section from her book. Sometimes it feels like you need to fight for peace.
We're in the middle of an incredible battle and we appreciate your prayers a lot, especially this weekend.
I really can't sum up the thoughts as we are about to go to a place where the people actually seem to live their purpose "out of intimacy with God, to destroy the works of the devil" There seems to be incredible sensitivity to the Holy Spirit there. We continue to trust God for healing and are expecting amazing things.
I think I'll just leave it at that for now.
Sleep well,
Earl

Radiation is done!

2009-01-23T20:09:00.001-06:00

I finished radiation on Wednesday and celebrated at Starbucks with Earl! I even cheated on my no sugar diet and had a brownie-it was super good!
Here are some pictures to give you a glimpse of what radiation is like. The first picture is my leg. I know it looks really gross and it is. It's super red from the 'burn' of radiation and it has become an open wound because of the burn. The wound drains a lot of fluid and so I have a dressing put on it every day. It's pretty painful.
The 2nd picture is not my leg but Earl's. However, the cast/form thing is what they put on my leg everyday. It was perfectly molded to my leg before I started radiation so that it would keep my leg in place. It was pretty painful when they put the mold on my leg as it would press on the wound. Because the swelling has gone down, it wasn't quite as painful anymore.
So now I'm waiting to get an appointment with Dr. Wong so that we can discuss future plans. Until then, I'm enjoying my break from treatments.
-Ramona

X-ray results

2009-01-15T13:03:00.002-06:00

Last week Friday I had an x-ray to see what was going on in my chest. I was pretty suspicious that the tumors in my chest were grower because I was having more pain. Finally yesterday we got some results. I don't quite know what to write because the results seem kind of unclear. The radiologists compared the x-ray to the x-ray done in October not December. The tumors in my lungs right now are significantly smaller than they were in October. That is definitely good, but we don't know how they compare to December. As much as that is frustrating that we can't access that information, it's good to know that they're not an emergent concern. So, I've decided to try to ignore the discomfort in my chest and just simply believe that the tumors throughout my body are shrinking. I really believe that if there was an emergent problem God would make it clear to us-we've done what we could.
I'm continuing to walk more and yesterday didn't use the wheelchair at all. It's so much fun to be able to do things, even small things like sweeping the floor, doing dishes, etc. Who would have thought a person would be grateful for things like that?!

My thoughts

2009-01-12T13:55:00.003-06:00

Today I want to share with you the difference having Jesus in my life makes. Okay, now that I've said such a loaded statement many of you are wondering what is happening to me and why I'm getting so deep. Follow along and I'll try to fill you in.
Last night, as usual, Earl & I went to Beyond(Sunday nights at Calvary Temple). The speaker really challenged us to be bold in our faith and to share our stories. He then kind of forced us to grab the person beside us and start sharing. I was 'lucky' enough to be sitting beside my brother so I had it easy... or so I thought. I realized that I didn't have a clue what to say. How do I tell someone the difference that Jesus makes in my life? Does Jesus make a difference in my life? Is Christianity something more than just a title or something I do? I know it is, but how can I explain it to someone? I also realized that there are a bunch of people who read this blog who I don't know. First of all, I don't know their name, I don't know where they live,-there are many people who read this blog that I have never met. I definitely don't know where many people's relationships are with Jesus. I realized that I had this incredible opportunity to tell the world, using this blog, about the difference Jesus makes. And so the question is, "What difference does Jesus make in Ramona's life?" One of the first things that pops into my mind is hope. I can't imagine not having hope. Jesus gives me hope. I know that He's got my life completely figured out-it's completely in His hands and in His control. I know that He only wants what is best for me, therefore I can trust Him completely. If I had to try to figure life out, and if I didn't believe in a higher power, life would be so much scarier.
Having a relationship with Jesus gives me a purpose. Life is so much more than pleasing self, getting rich or making a name for yourself. Life is all about serving others, praising Jesus and telling/showing others about Jesus. This brings me to some stories that I want to share. If I don't share them, I feel like I am robbing Jesus of the glory He deserves. If even half of the people who read this, say "wow, God" then think of all the praise He receives that He wouldn't have otherwise. Sometimes I'm too shy to share how God is working, but when I think about it this way, it's wrong of me not to.
On Tuesday, one of my friends from Beyond called Earl & I and asked if it would be alright if her small group could fast and pray for me on Wednesday. Of course the response was yes and so Wednesday I had a group of approximately 6 people fast and pray for healing. Thursday night, I decided to try to walk a few feet and see if I could do it. I did and since Thursday I have been walking significantly more. I have some pain when I walk but WAY less than I used to. It's super exciting to not be in a wheelchair all the time.
Friday night Earl & I are at Starbuck's and as we're leaving, two ladies come up to us and say they recognize us from Beyond. They've been praying for us and were wondering if they could pray for us right now. Absolutely!! We invite them to our car to stay warm and they both cover us in prayer. Earl & I, as well as our friends, knew this wasn't a coincedence. Earl & I had been more discouraged on Friday and we knew that the timing was too perfect to just happen by chance. One of the ladies had wanted to leave earlier but ended up staying later because of the other one's insistence. Even the fact that Earl & I were at the Starbuck's we were at, wasn't normal. God had this all figured out!
Last night, I told Earl I was about ready to go but he wanted to stay longer so we were still hanging around, listening to the music when the same friends who fasted and prayed came and introduced themselves and once again surrounded Earl & I in prayer. More friends came and encouraged us until we had this big circle of friends around us. I don't think it's a coincidence that we were still at Beyond. To me it's obvious that God wanted us to be encouraged by our friends and it's so clear that He's in control.
And so I hope this blog reminds us of 2 things:
1.)Let's give God praise when He deserves praise, even for the little things
2.)Let's be bold in sharing our stories-sharing the difference Jesus makes in our life

Blood test/x-ray

2009-01-09T17:20:00.002-06:00

So yesterday after radiation, I went for a blood test. I've been feeling some discomfort in my chest and so I wanted to rule out some things. The results from the blood test showed that my hemoglobin is really good for me (112) and so the shortness of breath/discomfort is not due to low hemoglobin. Good and bad-fixing low hemoglobin would be pretty easy.
So today after radiation, I had a chest x-ray. I don't have the results yet, but expect to get them early next week.
As we seek to trust God and know that everything is perfectly in His control, it's hard not to worry. It's hard not to think that the tumors in my chest are growing once again. If they are, then what? As soon as these thoughts enter our mind, it's a battle to replace them with positive, life words/thoughts. For Earl & I it feels like yesterday and today especially, have been emotionally/spiritually intense. We trust God and not the symptoms, but the battle to do so is exhausting.
-Ramona

2009-01-05T17:19:00.000-06:00

So I thought it was time to give another update on our lives. This is a picture of Earl & I Christmas Day at my parents. I really wanted to take a picture of us, but I didn't want to be sitting a wheelchair for it, so here I am balanced on one leg, getting Earl to hold me up for the picture.
Radiation has begun-today was my 8th day. I'd say it's going pretty well. My leg is still super swollen and some of the skin is peeling, so I try to lather it with lotion a lot. Other than that, I'm not sure that I have any side effects. I'm feeling a little more tired, I think, which is the most common side effect.

Last night, Earl & I went to Beyond again. (Beyond is an incredible church service held every Sunday night at Calvary Temple at 7) We absolutely love Beyond. What an incredible place to come and worship God and be super challenged to keep going to the next level. Earl & I try to attend every Sunday and it has been a place of incredible growth for us. We really feel that God is doing some pretty crazy things in our lives right now. Medically things are hopeless, but we feel incredible hope. I know I will one day be walking again and enjoying good health-it's just a matter of time. God is using this experience to prepare us for the future. The plans God has, not only for us, but for all people, are way greater than we can comprehend or imagine. It's exciting to know that He is using this experience of cancer to prepare me for my dreams of helping children/orphanages. So what now, while we wait? How can I pursue my dreams/ use my gifts, while in a wheelchair? I'm not sure, but it's something I think about a lot. Life is not about me, life is about others. So how can I live to serve others and thereby serve Jesus? Today Earl called Siloam Mission to find out if they had any volunteer opportunities that Earl & I could do together. Just because I sit in a wheelchair, does not mean I can't do anything. We'll see where that goes. I'd love to volunteer somewhere-do something productive.

And so those are some of my thoughts. Right now Earl is skating with his brother and we've got some friends bringing pizza over for supper. Thanks again to those of you who come over and visit, bring us food, pray, encourage, whatever-we appreciate our friends a lot!

Oh yeah, a little exciting side note-as of today my eyelashes are officially coming back. It's incredible how fast they grow. Yesterday morning I could barely see them and today they're almost halfway there. But as my eyelashes come, my eyebrows go. Very interesting how the body works....

-Ramona

Hockey on Wheels

2008-12-28T19:14:00.000-06:00

Playing hockey with my family on the Morweena rink.
What an awesome Christmas!

2008-12-20T22:27:00.003-06:00

Just a quick note that I am doing quite well. God's peace is absolutely incredible. My pain is pretty well managed but I have had a bit more pain lately. My mind is more clear than it was and I am not hallucinating anymore. I still can't walk but rather spend my hours on the couch or wheelchair.
I've had more difficulty sleeping due to some of the medication so that is something I'd appreciate prayer for.
Radiation starts on Monday but I'll have a break on the 25th & 26th. Currently we are at my parent's in Morweena enjoying some extended Christmas gatherings.
Thanks so much for the thousands of prayers. God is faithful and is completely in control. All He asks is that we praise and trust Him.
Ramona

2008-12-10T19:40:00.003-06:00

Alright...I'm sitting on my couch watching Ramona sleep. The house is cleaned up (Ramona's mom has been with us for the last few days...which was absolutely perfect), and I'm sick of trying to find gifts on ebay. Anyway, that last post was short exactly because Ramona's meds are affecting her mind quite a bit. In fact, I had to write those last two sentences for her.
As we mentioned previously, chemo is on hold as we deal with the tumor on the right leg that isn't responding.
We had a meeting with Dr. Akra on Tuesday. He's in charge of radiation and we're really impressed with him. We feel like he's putting in an impressive effort to have Ramona's radiation pushed through quickly. It's a process that, if we don't pay attention, or if Ramona isn't prioritized will get put off until after Christmas. As it looks now, radiation should begin within the two weeks. The CT Simulation that was scheduled for next week, has been moved to tomorrow.

In dealing with the long term, a radiated tumor will grow back. This means that we need to deal with a surgery to remove that tumor.
We were also able to talk to the surgeon on Tuesday...
I'm pretty sure I used to be a nice/patient person....but when people dealing with Ramona see the glass as half empty...(and I mean very empty).......

I think I'm just going to change the topic. I can't afford to be distracted by people without hope.

I'm not gonna lie. Every part of me that is a natural human being gets pretty scared in the middle of all this stuff. It's not my idea of fun to have Ramona be so heavily medicated...
I'm incredibly thankful for the thousands of people praying for us. There are also, people fasting and praying for us. Thankyou so much.

I meant what I said with "we have no Plan B". I find it so hard to live like that. I feel like I would gladly learn to trust God with everything.......if Ramona's life wasn't on the line. I have horrible visions of everything going wrong and people trying to explain to me that God is still good...and then be back to a safe, powerless God. How disgusting wouldn't that be, for God to be safe and powerless.

The Bible teaches us to pray " Your kingdom come, your will be done on earth as it is in heaven". It's our role to pray that the kingdom come.........

I'm simply angry at how many people i see sick all around me...there is provision for healing...

In my reading, and from talking with people I notice a huge difference between people who are experiencing God...and those whose Christianity is in all practicality atheism.....
Maybe I'm more frustrated with what I see in myself. When I fear, I am agreeing with Satan. I'm agreeing that God can't fully be trusted.
I read of people who have a life that demonstates "out of intimacy with God to destroy the works of the devil"
That is awesome. I could look inside myself and analyze all this stuff, but I promise you I will never figure it out. That is one of the most destructive things in Christianity, to look inside yourself and focus on all the things you could feel guilty about, or could change, or what ever.

Heb. 12:2. "Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfector of our faith"
...this is more than just a good idea.....
It's such a huge temptation for me to look inside myself to think of all the things that I could have done differently in the last 2.5 years, or to fear the upcoming treatment decisions......

The spirit that raised Christ from the dead is inside of us as Christians.

Thankyou for reading my smattering of thoughts. If you want get to know a powerful God who is worth trusting with your life....pay attention....this story is not done.

2008-12-09T17:06:00.002-06:00

I was discharged from St. Boniface on Sunday and my pain is much better managed. I'm still bedridden requiring help with even simple care. My brain is not working super well but my pain meds are. Thank you so much for praying. Let's not stop believing.
-Ramona

2008-12-05T22:36:00.002-06:00

Well... I'm pretty sure Ramona is sleeping now. The last few days have been a pretty big battle to get her pain under control. On Wednesday (anniversary) , Ramona was just starting with the methadone, and it didn't really start providing much relief until, to my suprise, she felt "good" enough to head out to a restaurant for supper. I guess she was getting used to the new medication and so she fell asleep a few times at the restaurant, but it was incredibly special that it worked anyway. The leg tumor continues to affect the nerves in her leg, she just realized tonight that she can't really move her right foot much any more.
Yesterday, and parts of today had a lot of pain as they continued to adjust the pain medication. It seems to be fairly effective now...although Ramona is hallucinating sometimes.
Ramona is only taking one of the two scheduled chemo drugs. This is because we are hoping to have some radiation on that right leg (consultation appointment Dec. 9) ASAP. Adriamycin and chemo do not work together.
I can't do justice to any spiritual topic with the time left on this kiosk.............we know Jesus heals....The Bible has to be speaking the truth about the power of God...we have no Plan B...
- Earl

2008-12-03T12:52:00.003-06:00

Thankyou to everyone who is texting and wishing us a Happy Anniversay today. We're celebrating quite a bit different than planned. We have the results from the CT scan. The tumors that we previously knew about shrank, but this previously mentioned leg pain is caused by a tumor in her lower leg. It is a 14 x 4 cm tumor that must not be responding to chemo, or else it would be shrinking now too. Today will continue to be filled with meetings with medical staff. Ramona's leg pain has quickly come to the point where her morphine dosages weren't cutting the pain. We're now in the process of trying new meds......now to my point. Keep praying. We've made it this far due to prayer. Thank you all so much.
-Earl

2008-12-01T19:51:00.002-06:00

So...it's looks like we haven't written for some time. I think Ramona tried the other day...but I guess it must have disappeared.
Anyway, I guess we need to sum up the last two weeks. Ramona is heading into the hospital within a few hours to begin chemo round number 16. It's absolutely ridiculous. That's 885 hours that chemo has been pouring into her, never mind the hundreds of litres of other stuff. etc...etc..etc.

For some reason Ramona's leg continues to be a frustration. We're not sure why all the discomfort and pain is there. A bone scan for her leg is scheduled for a week from now.

This week is also the week the CT Scan is going to be done. Keep believing. It's often pretty easy for us to get discouraged with everything. It seems God has done everything except take the cancer away. It's really easy to forget all the little miracles that have happened along the way. Thank you so much to everyone who continually reminds us that you're praying.
I can smell supper,
Earl

Home Again

2008-11-18T20:58:00.003-06:00

My hemoglobin Saturday morning was 118. That's got to be a record high for me! (Okay so I did have 3 units of blood this week, which might attribute to the high number) Whatever the case, I was excited knowing I wouldn't be delayed by a blood transfusion Sunday morning. So yes, we are home again.
This week was...I don't know...decent, okay, average, pretty good...it's still chemo...but honestly pretty good. No crazy anxiety attacks which was awesome. I cut out some anti nausea meds which I really think helped. Thanks to all the prayers in that regard. Whenever I enter the hospital and get connected to my pole, I instantly have this background anxiety. It stays with me until I am disconnected and discharged. It's a constant battle to fight the feelings of anxiety. However, these feelings were just background this round and for that I'm SUPER grateful.
Here's the God story of the week:
Monday night when I was admitted I was told that I was in Room 34. For those of you who don't know, that's the absolute best room on 5B-it's the luxury suite. It's designed for palliative patients, but when it's not in use for that, the nurses are so amazing that they allow chemo patients to be in that room. I was excited but at the same time I didn't know if I could handle being in that room. That had been Andi's room for the last month and that's where I saw her for the last time.
After a mental battle I decided that the advantages of being in a private room were so great, that I would put forth a real effort. I entered the room and forced myself to sit on the bed and almost immediately, it became my old room. Before Andi was so sick, I had been in that room numerous times and all those memories came back. Even though some of Andi's Halloween decorations were still dangling from the ceiling, I was okay with it.

Tuesday afternoon one of the charge nurses comes into my room, has a seat and asks if it would be okay if they would move me. What can I say? Of course I don't want to move, but they already know that and they wouldn't move me if they didn't have to. So I agree to it. Apparently I'm going to move to a nonprivate room and it's going to happen around supper.
This was super hard for me. I had just finished telling Earl how amazing it was to be in a private room and now I had to move. I just felt myself getting really discouraged and down and so I suggested that we pray. We prayed that some crazy miracle would occur and that somehow I wouldn't have to move out of my room.
The evening nurses come on and I ask the charge when I'm going to be moving. She doesn't know what I'm talking about. I tell her that the other nurse had told me that I'd have to move because they had to accept a patient from emergency. Apparently they were not accepting this patient anymore and I didn't have to move. Wow-I prayed and God directly answered my prayer; how awesome and exciting!

For those who are asking how I'm doing. Relatively well. I've been having some ankle/leg pain that has Dr. Wong clueless. I've had it for about 2 1/2 weeks and at times I think it's getting better and then it comes back. Today has been pretty good and I'm once again encouraged that it's getting better. I don't believe it's anything serious. I had an X-ray to rule out tumors and an ultrasound to rule out blood clots. Now we just wait for it to completely disappear.
Thanks for your prayers and support
Ramona

Andi

2008-11-10T19:42:00.000-06:00

Today I went to my friend Andi's funeral.

Andi was an incredible fighter. The bravery that she fought this horrible disease with was amazing.
Andi was also hilarious-she had a great sense of humor and was cracking jokes even while she was in horrible pain.
Andi, you were such a welcoming person. There was never a time that you felt too miserable to visit with Earl & I. Even in your final days, you smiled when we visited and I knew you were glad that we were there.
Andi, you were so brave. When Dr. Wong told you that you were going to be transferred to palliative care, you still were able to put on a smile and come tell me about it.
Andi, I'll miss you.
Tonight when I go in for another round of chemo, I'll be looking at your room and be hit with the fact that you're not there. I'll miss not being able to come visit you whenever I'm lonely or bored.
I'm so glad Andi that you're not suffering anymore. Most people will never even come close to experiencing the kind of pain that you went through. You fought hard and I'm so proud!
Earl & I chatted with Bobby for a long time today, Andi. He was sitting with us during the meal. He's a great man and he loved you so incredibly much.
And so Andi, I now say good-bye.
I'm so glad we were able to meet and become friends. I can't wait to see you in heaven.
I love you
Ramona

Earl Cooke, myself and Andi Jan. /08
All diagnosed with sarcoma and all having chemo at the same time

2008-11-04T12:08:00.002-06:00

This is kind of fun, getting people to guess what kind of food I chose for my birthday!
None of you got it bang on, but the Mennonites were the closest! I had a pretty big list of things that I was debating about. Good old homemade cottage cheese perogies covered in white onion gravy was high on the list. This wouldn't have been complete without farmer sausage slathered in ketchup on the side. So good...maybe next year. :)
So the menu was as follows:
Lunch: Chili & Greasy White bread garlic toast
Dessert at Dairy Queen -Reese Twister (Only was able to finish a third of it)
Supper: (Don't laugh too hard-I know it sounds childish, but what can I say... way too normal)
Taco Salad with that amazing white sauce and New Bothwell cheese, Juicy sausage burgers with all the works including processed cheese, and Spinach salad with bacon
Dessert was this amazing Pistachio Poppyseed Dessert.
Thanks to both Moms who made such a delicious supper!

25 Years

2008-11-01T20:53:00.003-05:00

First of all, thank you to all of you who wished me a happy birthday. I truly can say that in spite of everything, I had a good day.
Yes, I got out of the hospital early Sunday morning. I've felt pretty good all week. Of course I'm super tired and weak, but I think I'm doing a lot better than last round.
All week I was hoping and praying and wishing that I would feel good this weekend. I really wanted to have a special birthday but I knew that Friday would be the beginning of my 'bad weekend'. (About a week after I come home, my white blood count always drops and I usually develop a fever. This has often resulted in me spending some quality time in emergency.)
I know there were a ton of people praying that this weekend would be different. I'm so excited because I am not writing this blog from the hospital but rather from at home! Yesterday I felt super weak and tired all day. I could tell my body was really fighting. I tried to rest a lot and drink lots of water. Usually the fever spikes in the evening. I decided that I was not going to check my temperature unless I felt really bad. As the evening progressed, I knew I had a fever but I felt okay so I just kept enjoying the evening with my family and Earl's family. Once everyone was going home, I checked my temp. It read 38.3. Not a good sign but I decided to wait it out to see if it would go down, or if I'd start to feel bad. (I'm kind of used to these things, so I know how to read my body) Just before my brother left, he prayed for me and a few minutes later I felt my body cool down. I really believe that the accumulation of many of you praying kept me from entering the hospital. I haven't checked my temp since last night-I can tell I don't have a fever. I've been exhausted today as my body is still fighting but I am so super grateful that I am doing as well as I am. Thank you everyone of you who prayed that I would have a special birthday.

Ramona

....so I get the task of proofreading this and I find nothing here about Ramona's food choice for her birthday...I'm curious if any of you guys could guess what kind of 'normal' food she would choose after having gone almost a year with extremely limited amounts of red meat, dairy, white flour and white sugar....

Earl

2008-10-23T23:56:00.002-05:00

Well...here goes. From my perspective Ramona was having a pretty decent day. Last night was filled with aches and pains, and she actually never feels perfect during the day either, but this evening we realized that Ramona has gone three days without morphine. That's pretty impressive. The withdrawal effects from morphine are similar enough to what chemo feels like, I guess.

A combination of prayer, good people dropping by, and an adjustment to the nausea medication have improved the struggle with anxiety in the last two days.

When I came back to hospital tonight around 8:30. I went to the lounge to find a big group of people hanging out and having fun in there. Apparently, I had hair on my head.....so I didn't fit in. We have a neat group of people on 5B right now, all dealing with similar diagnosis es and chemos.

-Earl

2008-10-22T10:22:00.002-05:00

Ramona is back in the hospital. On monday the port was put in with no complications. The whole process of this twenty minute surgery took 3.5 hours. Ramona also received two more units of blood on Monday. With all this happening chemo only started yesterday.
Prayer:
- Anxiety is a huge battle in the hospital
- Chemo would continue to be incredibly effective
- Our friend Andrianna is receiving horrible news from the doctors. They are talking about palliative care.

For now,
Earl

2008-10-15T20:50:00.002-05:00

Monday night I went into the hospital dreading like crazy my 2nd round of chemo. I stayed the night and the plan was to put a port in Tuesday morning. (A port is a device that is surgically inserted just underneath the skin. It is placed near the heart. It serves the same purpose as a PICC.) Well, plans changed all day. Winnipeg doesn't have the kind of port I need-it needs to be shipped from Toronto. For awhile we thought we'd just put in a temporary PICC, but that didn't work because my veins are too "traumatized" from the the previous PICCs. So I was sent home Tuesday afternoon. The last I heard is that the port takes two days to get here from Toronto and so I'm expecting to go back in on Friday. I'll have my little surgery and then chemo will start immediately after.
Of course it's frustrating when things don't quite work out, but truthfully, every single day that I don't have to have chemo, is another day that God can miraculously heal me. I believe that God can and has been using the chemo to heal, but I absolutely hate going through it. As I told Earl, I'm sick and tired of being sick and tired. Ever since my first round of chemo, I have not had one day that I have felt good all day. I still am weak, I still feel sick a lot of the time. I have to admit that I'm fighting discouragement, I'm fighting anxiety. The battle is so intense. It's hard to stay positive when circumstances aren't positive. I feel like I'm battling this cloud of anxiety that says that I can't escape feeling sick. Yes, I know God is still the same God-I know He hasn't changed. I know He is protecting me and 'covering me with His feathers' (Psalm 91) No matter what you know, Satan is still trying to discourage. And so I ask for an extra dose of prayer in the spiritual battle realm. May Satan and his discouraging thoughts flee and may I continue to trust Jesus. May I rest knowing that He only wants what is best for me and He's got me completely taken care of.
-Ramona

Goodbye PICC

2008-10-07T21:48:00.004-05:00

Today my PICC left me!! After weeks of arguing back and forth on whether it was infected or not, today we finally got some clarity. The blood test I had yesterday helped figure things out. So, I am super excited about showering, finally a shower where I don't have to worry about getting my PICC wet! I'll probably have a new one put in on Tuesday, but that doesn't make sense to me cause I'll need it Monday night, so I don't know......
And that's the deal. I'm still fighting some kind of stomach discomfort and still tired and weak. I'm hoping that now that the PICC is gone, I'll start feeling better.
Ramona

Home

2008-10-03T21:46:00.003-05:00

Yesterday the doctors all finally agreed that I could come home. So around 3:30 Earl & I came home and crashed and slept for a few hours!! I had felt so good in the hospital and was so thrilled to be home, but last night I again developed a fever. It wasn't really high but enough to realize that something was going on. We went to bed-the night was filled with shivering and sweating but not too bad. I felt a bit better today and have not checked my temperature in hours. If the fever continues-I have to go back to the hospital. I'm really hoping and praying that doesn't happen.
Tonight Earl & I went to a fundraiser for a friend who is also fighting cancer. My heart is heavy tonight as I was faced with the realities of her situation. It is only more of an incentive to keep praying, praying, praying. It was also a lot of fun hanging out with our friend, Earl who was also at the same event. Another highlight was hanging out with my chemo nurse and meeting her family.
So tonight I go to bed, praying that I can enjoy this weekend and not land up in the hospital and praying for a miracle for my dear friend.
Ramona

Purple Hair

2008-09-30T23:38:00.000-05:00

Those of you who know me, know that I would never, ever dye my hair purple-it's just not me. Well sometimes you do things you'd never do if you weren't in the situation you're in! Sunday morning as I was fighting fevers in the hospital, I noticed a few hair on my pillow and immediately my hand went to my head and gently pulled and sure enough, my hair was starting to come out. Instantly I decided to shave it and made arrangements to have a clipper brought in the hospital. However, Earl's sister and Earl thought it would be good to have some fun before I went bald and so this was my look for a few hours!
Right now, I am sitting at home and blogging. Again I'm not technically out of the hosptial, but thanks to an amazing husband who fights for me and an awesome group of doctors, I was allowed to come home for the night. I need to be back by 8 in the morning. Today I am feeling superb. I feel better than I have since before chemo. This morning something was simply just different. My white blood count is coming up and I believe that's a huge reason. My platelets are still super low, even after a platelet transfusion. It's not too worrisome at this point, but I have to be careful. I don't have a clue when I can come home for 'good'. I have not had a fever at all today, so that is a first since Friday night. As much as things are going in the right direction, the right doctors have to all agree that is is safe for me to be home. Fevers and possible infections for someone in my situation, are a big deal to doctors.
Now for the really encouraging part of my day. A year ago when I was in the hospital, there was another girl going through chemo as well. We were often in the hospital at the same time and sometimes hung out together. However, I had not seen her since then and have only sort of kept in touch. Today her mom came to visit. It was such a wonderful surprise and so good to chat, connect and relate. What was so encouraging to me, was how this woman has changed completely. Previously, she was stressed and worried(no one can blame her)but today she was fighting for her daughter, praying and believing that her daughter would live. The spiritual change was so amazing and so touching to hear that her and her daughter pray for me all the time. Medically, her situation is similar to mine. We both need miracles. If you think of her, please pray for her.
I feel like there is a spiritual battle raging. Ever since I openly stated that I believed God would heal me, a doctor has treated me much more rudely. Pray that the Holy Spirit does what He does best.
And so, that's my update.
A special thanks to Melissa who sits with me while Earl's in class and studying, to all those who've filled our freezer with food and for every single prayer.
I can't wait to get into my own bed
Good night

2008-09-29T14:34:00.002-05:00

Ramona is still in the hospital right now. She hasn't felt super good the whole time in the hospital, but considering her Neutrophils were zero for a while and the rest of the numbers were really low, I'm thankful for how good she felt. She continues to get fevers. The doctors don't know the source of the fevers.
....I guess I'll just leave you with small bits of vague info for now....I'm heading back to the hospital right away....
-Earl

2008-09-27T12:09:00.002-05:00

So, Ramona and I went out for ice cream last night. Unfortunately......it was our stuff left over in the freezer at St. B. Ramona is in emergency now. We went in last night around eleven p.m. Her white blood count is 0.1 and her platelets are 11. She is fighting with a fever too. Considering all the previously mentioned things she feels pretty good right now............as I'm writing this, I just got a call that Ramona is being brought up to the 5th floor.
Thanks so much for praying you guys
-Earl

2008-09-25T10:13:00.002-05:00

So, how to sum up the last week?? I sit here not having a clue what to write, so much has happened, so much intensity...
The last everyone heard medically was that Dr. Wong came into my room trying to tell me the seriousness of a possible infection. Due to this potential infection, I have been on superbug antibiotics. These antibiotics can not be taken in pill form. Therefore, they did not let me out of the hospital on Monday, neither did they let me get out on Tuesday. Now Home Care is set up and a nurse comes to our house twice a day to administer my antibiotics. I was able to go home for a few passes on Monday and Tuesday and both nights were spent at home, that was awesome, even if we had to be back at the hospital early morning.
I'm sure a bunch of you are confused about this infection, so am I. Earlier in the week I had a fever which resulted in the blood cultures showing an infection. However, the 2nd cultures taken a few days later have not shown any infection. Apparently it can take a long time for these cultures to grow, so we wait and take precautions.
I feel like I'm super slowly starting to recuperate. The couch and I are great friends. :) My pain is for the most part under control.
Thank you so much for your prayers, comments and emails. We have been surrounded by support and I thank you. It blows my mind how many people around the world are praying-thank you. And as I genuinely thank you for you prayers, I long for more as I know that it's only through Jesus that I am healed. This weekend has potential for my white blood count to drop resulting in a hospital stay. Pray that the fever stays away.
Ramona

Finally Home

2008-09-24T22:34:00.002-05:00

Just a quick note to say that this morning we finally came home!! How amazing to be home. Earl & I are so exhausted so maybe tomorrow I'll fill everyone in all the details.
Good night
Ramona

2008-09-22T14:22:00.002-05:00

Thankyou for posting those verses in the comments. That is really encouraging.
So...., this morning Dr. Wong comes back and essentially tells Ramona that this infection could be a big deal, and potentially fatal and things like that....and a transfusion needs to be done again...and was kind of....simply not to encouraging. Anyway, the cultures came back shortly after that showing absolutely no infection, for which I am super excited about. It is possible for the cultures to show something in the next few days if something grows..........but really...why go there.....as I'm excited about this news, I guess there is no reason to stop praying. We do realize that anything that does go wrong when you have no white blood cells is serious. Anyway, I had better go back to the hospital to try to speed up the transfusion and the technicalities that go with trying to get out of the hospital.
-earl

2008-09-21T07:57:00.002-05:00

Things to be thankful for:
-Ramona has barely mentioned words like vomit, nausea etc.
-there is only one bag of chemo left for this round.
-Ramona has been able to be in the 'comfy' room the whole time
-Nursing staff is unbelievable
-Had some incredible times of worship in Ramona's room
-Met and spent some time talking to a Christian doctor, Dr. Foerester
-Awesome friends, family, and food

.....I don't have a good title for the next part. These next things sure don't keep us from being thankful, but are important to let you prayer warriors know about...and end up being pretty difficult sometimes
-Ramona seems to have some type of infection and may need to have a new PICC line put in if the antibiotics don't take care of it
-Ramona continues to have significant back pain. Morphine in small doses does not seem to take care of it.

My time at the kiosk has roughly come to an end. Thank you so much,
Earl